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The Husband of A Disobedient Wife Should Convert to Islam

PostPosted: Fri May 04, 2018 11:01 pm
by Garudaman


:lotpot:

Re: The Husband of A Disobedient Wife Should Convert to Isla

PostPosted: Sat May 05, 2018 7:46 am
by manfred
A joke in bad taste, I grant you, and one of the worst reasons to become a Muslim.

Now, Garudaman, what is your view on beating you wife? To be fair, I know a great deal of Muslim couples in Indonesia, and I never met any man who says he has beaten his wife, nor any Indonesian wife who says she was ever beaten...

But if you go to the Arab world, the picture is very different. Also, in Pakistani families this does occur and is generally not seen as a problem, but also not really discussed.

Do you know any women who have been beaten by their husbands in your country? How would you say this topic is generally dealt with?

Re: The Husband of A Disobedient Wife Should Convert to Isla

PostPosted: Sat May 05, 2018 10:57 am
by frankie
I once worked with a colleague who was a Muslima who gave me reasons to question her faith when she said these chilling words to a fellow Muslima when discussing newly married life.

She said,and I quote "does he beat her?"

Needless to say I have since discovered why this young female Muslim said these words so nonchalantly, she was oblivious to the fact that this disturbing statement could ever reflect so badly upon her faith, and say this as if it was an every day occurrence in her world.

Re: The Husband of A Disobedient Wife Should Convert to Isla

PostPosted: Sat May 05, 2018 3:30 pm
by Garudaman
manfred wrote:A joke in bad taste, I grant you, and one of the worst reasons to become a Muslim.

Now, Garudaman, what is your view on beating you wife? To be fair, I know a great deal of Muslim couples in Indonesia, and I never met any man who says he has beaten his wife, nor any Indonesian wife who says she was ever beaten...

But if you go to the Arab world, the picture is very different. Also, in Pakistani families this does occur and is generally not seen as a problem, but also not really discussed.

Do you know any women who have been beaten by their husbands in your country? How would you say this topic is generally dealt with?

we're usually just give advise, & then if its doest work, we're skip bed separation & beating, & go straight to the next verse QS. 4:35 report her to her parents/families.

Re: The Husband of A Disobedient Wife Should Convert to Isla

PostPosted: Sat May 05, 2018 4:47 pm
by Fernando
Garudaman wrote: we're skip bed separation & beating, & go straight to the next verse QS. 4:35 report her to her parents/families.
What, so that they can beat her instead?

Re: The Husband of A Disobedient Wife Should Convert to Isla

PostPosted: Sun May 06, 2018 12:34 pm
by Garudaman
havent you read QS. 4:35?

Re: The Husband of A Disobedient Wife Should Convert to Isla

PostPosted: Sun May 06, 2018 3:02 pm
by Fernando
Garudaman wrote:havent you read QS. 4:35?
That doesn't fit very well with what you wrote. It implies that a 3rd person is arranging arbitration between husband and wife. You are sending her to her parents - that must be either expecting them to punish her on your behalf, or rejecting her as if an unsatifactory article from Amazon.

Re: The Husband of A Disobedient Wife Should Convert to Isla

PostPosted: Sun May 06, 2018 7:12 pm
by manfred
In a western country, if a husband complains about his wife to his mother-in-law, the mother of his wife, he is very unlikely to to get a very sympathetic ear... At best, he may get some well meaning advice, but most likely he will be blamed for all the problems. As it happens, I was on the phone (whatsup) with a mate of mine in Semarang, and I asked him what would happen if he complained about his wife to her family... He was very quick to answer and extremely clear... The family would immediately demand that his wife would come home, children and all, and the would have to be a divorce. So he said he would never dream of doing that.

Is that what you meant?

Re: The Husband of A Disobedient Wife Should Convert to Isla

PostPosted: Mon May 07, 2018 3:00 am
by Garudaman
manfred wrote:In a western country, if a husband complains about his wife to his mother-in-law, the mother of his wife, he is very unlikely to to get a very sympathetic ear... At best, he may get some well meaning advice, but most likely he will be blamed for all the problems. As it happens, I was on the phone (whatsup) with a mate of mine in Semarang, and I asked him what would happen if he complained about his wife to her family... He was very quick to answer and extremely clear... The family would immediately demand that his wife would come home, children and all, and the would have to be a divorce. So he said he would never dream of doing that.

Is that what you meant?

nope, what i meant is their family will advise her so she would correction her wrong, thats why there's not many wife beating but also there's not many divorce.

Re: The Husband of A Disobedient Wife Should Convert to Isla

PostPosted: Mon May 07, 2018 7:00 am
by manfred
Well, the family's advise will be to leave the husband, as he is no good....

Re: The Husband of A Disobedient Wife Should Convert to Isla

PostPosted: Mon May 07, 2018 8:13 am
by Garudaman
well, if your friend's story is true, then mostly husband will not talk to wife's parents/family/elder & will beat his wife, thus your friend's story is cant be true as you dont hear many wife beating or many divorce.

Re: The Husband of A Disobedient Wife Should Convert to Isla

PostPosted: Mon May 07, 2018 9:27 am
by manfred
Anggar is happily married, with two kids, and they are a really nice family. If he were to beat his wife, she would leave him and return to her mum and dad.