The Husband of A Disobedient Wife Should Convert to Islam

[Garudaman]

[manfred]

A joke in bad taste, I grant you, and one of the worst reasons to become a Muslim.

Now, Garudaman, what is your view on beating you wife? To be fair, I know a great deal of Muslim couples in Indonesia, and I never met any man who says he has beaten his wife, nor any Indonesian wife who says she was ever beaten...

But if you go to the Arab world, the picture is very different. Also, in Pakistani families this does occur and is generally not seen as a problem, but also not really discussed.

Do you know any women who have been beaten by their husbands in your country? How would you say this topic is generally dealt with?

[frankie]

I once worked with a colleague who was a Muslima who gave me reasons to question her faith when she said these chilling words to a fellow Muslima when discussing newly married life.

She said,and I quote "does he beat her?"

Needless to say I have since discovered why this young female Muslim said these words so nonchalantly, she was oblivious to the fact that this disturbing statement could ever reflect so badly upon her faith, and say this as if it was an every day occurrence in her world.

[Garudaman]

A joke in bad taste, I grant you, and one of the worst reasons to become a Muslim.

Now, Garudaman, what is your view on beating you wife? To be fair, I know a great deal of Muslim couples in Indonesia, and I never met any man who says he has beaten his wife, nor any Indonesian wife who says she was ever beaten...

But if you go to the Arab world, the picture is very different. Also, in Pakistani families this does occur and is generally not seen as a problem, but also not really discussed.

Do you know any women who have been beaten by their husbands in your country? How would you say this topic is generally dealt with?

we're usually just give advise, & then if its doest work, we're skip bed separation & beating, & go straight to the next verse QS. 4:35 report her to her parents/families.

[Fernando]

we're skip bed separation & beating, & go straight to the next verse QS. 4:35 report her to her parents/families.

What, so that they can beat her instead?

[Garudaman]

havent you read QS. 4:35?

[Fernando]

havent you read QS. 4:35?

That doesn't fit very well with what you wrote. It implies that a 3rd person is arranging arbitration between husband and wife. You are sending her to her parents - that must be either expecting them to punish her on your behalf, or rejecting her as if an unsatifactory article from Amazon.

[manfred]

In a western country, if a husband complains about his wife to his mother-in-law, the mother of his wife, he is very unlikely to to get a very sympathetic ear... At best, he may get some well meaning advice, but most likely he will be blamed for all the problems. As it happens, I was on the phone (whatsup) with a mate of mine in Semarang, and I asked him what would happen if he complained about his wife to her family... He was very quick to answer and extremely clear... The family would immediately demand that his wife would come home, children and all, and the would have to be a divorce. So he said he would never dream of doing that.

Is that what you meant?

[Garudaman]

In a western country, if a husband complains about his wife to his mother-in-law, the mother of his wife, he is very unlikely to to get a very sympathetic ear... At best, he may get some well meaning advice, but most likely he will be blamed for all the problems. As it happens, I was on the phone (whatsup) with a mate of mine in Semarang, and I asked him what would happen if he complained about his wife to her family... He was very quick to answer and extremely clear... The family would immediately demand that his wife would come home, children and all, and the would have to be a divorce. So he said he would never dream of doing that.

Is that what you meant?

nope, what i meant is their family will advise her so she would correction her wrong, thats why there's not many wife beating but also there's not many divorce.

[manfred]

Well, the family's advise will be to leave the husband, as he is no good....

[Garudaman]

well, if your friend's story is true, then mostly husband will not talk to wife's parents/family/elder & will beat his wife, thus your friend's story is cant be true as you dont hear many wife beating or many divorce.

[manfred]

Anggar is happily married, with two kids, and they are a really nice family. If he were to beat his wife, she would leave him and return to her mum and dad.