Newmember1973 wrote:Preview: Frustrated, this is my story
I am so glad I stumbled upon this website. My partner is Muslim, I am from a hindu background..both of us are from the same country. We have been together for 10 years have 2 kids together. I am not a practicing Hindu because I follow Meditation and Yoga...not any religion. We didn't get married because I refused to convert and even get married according to Islamic Law, I gave him the option to leave when i was pregnant..He came back against his family's wishes...Now 10 years later, 2 kids..It is always the same arguments and It has to do with Religion. First of all, I wanted my kids to have both of our last names, but He doesn't like that, doesn't sit well with him...the kids are a part of both of us, I dont' see why they can't have both of our last names..All hell break loose 9 years ago when my first child was born..I went through hell, but I had faith, faith in God..I always say "god please guide my in the right path' and after the fight and I kicked him out of the house...he came back and ended up staying. My kids still have both our Last names Now I practice vegetarianism, not because of religion, but I cannot stand the fact that an animal had to die for my meal..and I don't see any value in eating meat..I wanted my kids to vegetarian was well..another big fight 9 years ago..I went through hell again..but stuck to my guns..Now they are still vegetarians He was hoping after a while I would give in and convert...didn't happen and I won't allow the kids to follow Islam. Don't get me wrong, I read about it..didn't like it. Now every once in a while he gets angry about these things..that he cannot get his way because of me..that I am a curse to him, I am evil...He says he cannot fully give me his love, because I didn't convert..but If i convert..I will be treated like a Queen..Ah! I said no thanks to that. His extended family comes first before me..he listens to what they say..if they want to go out somewhere and I am not well, I am expected to drop everything go..Naturally it seems as if he doesn't give a damn about me...Yes, we do have good times, happy times, many many of those..The kids are not aware of our arguments..they know of the differences of the religions etc..The arguments happen when it is Eid, or him going to the mosque or a religious function..or any other times when his family has invited us over or involving his family and I dont' want to participate..other wise everything is great..He is a good husband and father otherwise. I think because of this brainwashing religion..and family reinforcing it..he feels compelled to follow it..afraid to think out of the box..Sometimes when we have nice talks, he gets frustrated and says 'perhaps religion isn't real'..there is a part of him that is seeking answers that want to know the truth of the universe and God..but he is so brainwashed and scared he will go to hell, he won't leave Islam..It is so nice to have this site, where I can vent..and others who can understand...
Newmember1973 wrote:I didn't marry him I got involved in a relationship with him, we fell in love..it was all good at first. Its the same old story, he was such a nice guy, still is in certain ways..but so understanding when it comes to religion. I never hated muslims, I don't hate muslims..I'm just not a fan of the religion. At first I knew nothing of this religion..I was shocked and blown away..all the nice things he said wasn't true, he wasn't living up to it. He assumed I would convert..so he gave me time..I still didn't convert. Because I didn't follow him..is what caused all this problem. What I learned about Islam I learned from him and his and his family's behaviour...by the way I am from a hindu family doesn't mean I am hindu. He is definitely brainwashed, I had no clue this religion was so bad..he made it seem to nice, loving and peaceful. How can this wonderful loving, caring guy turn out to be so horrible..calling me evil, and cursed..then all of a sudden when I didn't convert, his behaviour changed..he could no longer love me fully anymore..but I got pregnant at this time. I gave him choices to do whatever he feels will benefit him..I was prepared to do all this on my own...He left and came back a few times..I never force him. If it wasn't for the religion our relationship would be awesome. I am not sure how much more I can take, or if he will leave someday..but I am prepared if he does..many times I wanted to leave..who knows what will happen someday.
Why are Muslims this way?? Can they change?
Newmember1973 wrote:We grew up in North America but born in South America...not from India
Newmember1973 wrote:My family is Indian descent perhaps way back in the 1800s..I am not a Hindu, prefer not to give us a label..some of my family members practices hinduism, most don't.
Qutuzistan wrote:lol........ I don't know. Maybe you should make an agreement with your husband for marriage. Don't listen to manfred. Manfred believes all muslim males are women hating chauvinist bigots who want to lock women up in their house and smallow the key. You can try to make an agreement. If he's too rigid with tradition, he'll refuse. If he's more open-minded about it, he'll agree. Just don't buy manfreds story that every muslim is like a saudi-arabian. I doubt that people like Manfred or Ali sina, ever were muslims. They have as much contact with muslims, as a the average white westerner. With their sickening, dehumanization of muslims.
Newmember1973 wrote:Qutuzistan wrote:lol........ I don't know. Maybe you should make an agreement with your husband for marriage. Don't listen to manfred. Manfred believes all muslim males are women hating chauvinist bigots who want to lock women up in their house and smallow the key. You can try to make an agreement. If he's too rigid with tradition, he'll refuse. If he's more open-minded about it, he'll agree. Just don't buy manfreds story that every muslim is like a saudi-arabian. I doubt that people like Manfred or Ali sina, ever were muslims. They have as much contact with muslims, as a the average white westerner. With their sickening, dehumanization of muslims.
He asked me to marry him many times..I said no,if we were to get married then we can go to city hall and do it. He won't agree, so we are living without getting married. He won't marry me unless I do it islamic way...that is why I suggested going to city hall..it's not hindu nor is it Islamic.. The way he thinks..baffles me..it's not human..what kind of a religion is this?
Newmember1973 wrote:@manfred, I agree "love knows no condition" that is my motto I live by.
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