Dear Grandma,Please advise us on whether we should send money to my daughter's exhusband in Iran in exchange for his promise to send her 3 daughters (or 1 or 2 of them) to visit us in America. He is a fundamentalist Shiite. The family lived in Colorado and went to Iran for what my daughter thought was a visit. She came back to America alone, believing him when he said he and their daughters would follow. That was 14 years ago and she has not seen them. She got a divorce throught the mail. The girls are now 19, 22, and 23. They want to come to America but he has said no until recently he said he would send them, (though not specified if 1, 2, or 3 of them, if we send $20,000. It would go through his friend in France because of the American sanctions on Iran. He says as a Muslim he keeps his word. Do you think he would keep his word, not wanting to disappoint the girls? If you think this is not the way to get them here, can you tell us other strategies? She does not talk to him directly on the phone, so messages are relayed by her daughters.
Did you see the movie Not Without my Daughter? The claim that as a Muslim he won’t lie is a despicable lie when lying to non-believers is a requirement of Muslim faith. It is called taqiyyah. If you watch the movie, you will hear the father of the man saying that his son did taqiyah and approves of him lying to the American woman, when she said he promised to return to USA. Here is the movie http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KZfO_A7mNVM" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false; Please watch all the parts, if you haven’t yet.
No, this man cannot be trusted and there is absolutely no moral guarantee on his behalf that he would stick to his word. He is a Muslim and by definition a liar. I am sorry if this does not sound politically correct, but it is the sad truth that sooner or later the world must wake up to.
The good thing is that the girls are adult and they can get out of Iran on their own. Many Iranians have escaped the country - millions of them – through the borders of Turkey or Azerbaijan. If they can do that you can go there and receive them from the border. Then you can go to American Embassy and apply for a passport and get them out of the country. This may cost some money as you have to pay a human smuggler to take them through the borders. But it is going to be much less than $20,000 dollars that this despicable excuse for human being is demanding from you.
I don’t know about the legalities and whether Iranian women require the permission of their father to apply for a passport and get permit to get out of the country. This is something your granddaughters can find out. If they don’t need his permission, then all you have to do is to send the money they need to buy the tickets to any European country and from there they can travel to USA.
However, if all doors are closed, and you are forced to give in to this thug’s blackmails, I suggest you get a lawyer involved and make sure that he does not get a dime until the girls are aboard the airplane. The money should go in an escrow account and not to him before he completes his end of the bargain. Don’t take him for his word. The word of a Muslim to a nonbeliever is worth nothing. You may also tell him to bring the girls and deliver them to you in Turkey, across the borders and there, once the girls are out of Iran, he will be paid.
In any case, I prefer that you don’t pay this man any money at all. The girls are adult and they should be able to get out of the country one way or another.
Wish you and your family all the best. I am very sorry for what you had to go through in all these years. It is sad that still non-Muslim women fall in love
with Muslim men and marry them. There is no happy ending to such marriages.