Teenager with issues.

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Selvest
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Joined: Tue Jan 11, 2011 5:56 am

Teenager with issues.

Post by Selvest »

I'm new here, I'll cut to the chase,

My name is Mohamed, I'm currently 15 and reside in Australia, I was born in Kuwait and moved here when I was 10 months old with my Egyptian parents (Strict Muslims, My Dad being strictest in the family, My Mum wears a hijab, My older Sister wears a Hijab, my younger Brother prays 5 times a day, fasts, reads Quraan, etc) . At the age of 3, My parents took me to a Muslim school here in Australia, Up until the second grade I did nothing about Islam, as I was obviously too young, at school, the second graders had to start praying at the school's mosque, even at that age I disliked praying, so I didn't, I pretended to do wuddhu and had no intentions of praying for the sake of Allah. During the 4th grade, I moved to a public school (The muslim school was full of foul mouthed idiots, which was a shock to me because they were Muslims, and I was brought up by my parents thinking Muslims are perfect), I got bullied hard due to me being Muslim, and moved to a different Muslim school at the end of the 4th grade, I got in a fight every day with people, swearing at me, treating me like sh!t, and ended up going home with a black eye every day for a year. At this point I didn't want anything to do with Islam, my dad forced me to pray, every few hours asking/telling me to pray, I didn't do Wuddhu or had no intentions of actually praying, I was forced to read a page of the Quraan every day, I had no idea what I was reading, infact, when I did, all I saw was violence and aggression.

At the age of about 9, I started playing video games, My father had robbed my childhood, but I wouldn't know that, I lived in Australia but had no friends, had no fun, had no childhood, The only way I could escape being different was through online games. In the 6th grade I moved to a public school, I had a few friends and was considered popular, I got a few invites to birthday parties and sleepovers, only to return to them with a frown on my face and telling them my Father said I could not, as it is not Islamic. In the 7th grade, age 12, I still played computer games, had no social life, and was at the brink of collapsing.

During the summer holidays of 2007 (December 2007), I was talking to a friend over MSN, he suggested I just go out in the open and tell my Father I did not want to be Muslim, How hard could it be? When my dad got home from work I ended up just not doing it as I was too scared, Yet I still lied about praying, fasting, and absolutely hated it when I had to read Quraan, This religion just made no sense to me.

My Father treasured religion, he loved it more than I, more than my Brother, more than my Sister, and most importantly my Mother, even his life, This religion just brainwashed him and my whole family. Whenever I would go out with friends, they had to be Males, absolutely no talking to girls, no having friends that are of the opposite gender, and ofcourse no dating. I was fine with it though, why would I do what they told me? Behind their backs I had girlfriends, hung out with girls and all that. At this age, I had been to Egypt a few times and hated it, Being forced to pray, Forced to go to Friday prayer, etc, but my parents didn't know I saw it as force, I just obliged by their rules.

Going into High School, I started completely hating Islam, I had no idea why though, I think it was just growing up in a Western country, at this age I saw my Father mistreat my Sister, Hit me a few times, hit my little brother a few times and also screaming at my Mum, They were about to go through a divorce a few times but I think my Mother pulled out due to us, her children.

Fast forward a bit, after seeing myself different in every aspect, infront of friends, everyone in my grade, I'd made it to the 10th Grade, This is where everything changed, I started getting invited to parties and the such, but after my friends being so used to me saying no, they stopped inviting me to such things, I was heartbroken, I'm about to get robbed my freedom, my teenage hood, just like my childhood. I had to make up the nerve to tell someone, and fast.

Around middle of the 10th Grade, My father shouted at me for something small, I had obvious anger issues, my father shouted at me a lot, even over small things, He'd come inside the house from work, see me on the computer, walk in the room and start screaming at me, I had enough, I retaliated, shouting at him at the top of my lungs, he hit me on the face, walked away and left the house for a few hours, When he came back, my Mum told me I should go apologize, as usual, every time something like this happened I had to apologize, it wasn't even my most excellent fault. I went into his room and told him sorry, I did not mean to over-react, he told me, in these exact words, "Mohamed, You are no longer my Son, and I am no longer your father, consider me dead to you," My mum told him "How could you say that," I just walked away.. Shocked, and went and ranted to my Sister, like every time, my little brother and big sister were not shocked at all, I found this very weird, I later found out they just tried to hide being shocked.

The next day, my Dad called a family meeting, he told me in a very bold voice, "If you ever raise your voice to me again, I will divorce your mother and leave the family, as I do not want you to go to hell for disobeying your Father."

I was completely shocked, and for the next few months was completely depressed, I tried to hide it as much as I could, I saw my school psychologist and asked for help, I was told that my Dad infact had problems and I should talk to him about them, ofcourse I did not want to, at this point I also talked to a few friends about my religion and the fact that I hate it, I also talked to the school psychologist and I was told to just wait until I was 18, But I knew that I could not, I promised myself that I would not talk to anyone in my family about it until I was 16.

I was invited to a birthday party, no alcohol, parents there, females there aswell, it went from 6pm to 12am, I asked my Dad and he said no, I kept asking and he said yes, The day of the party, I told my dad I was going, he told me to come home at 7pm, I was shocked, 1 hour? Are you serious?, I kept convincing him and he told me he'd be there at 9pm to pick me up, and that was the latest I was allowed out, During the party, at about 8:30, My friends kept talking about a so called "pedophile" starting at the house from his car, I and a few friends went out to look, it turned out to be my Dad, Obviously trying to spy on me.

A few more incidents like this happened, including my Dad wanting to go through my phone to see if I was texting girls.

Later on...

My school was planning a trip to Vietnam, which cost $6,500, I had a few friends that were going and really wanted to join in, so I asked my parents and they said yes, I was shocked at first that they said yes but who was I to argue with a good thing? Little did I know this would only make it bad for me. My father telling me that he is reconsidering it after every small thing I do that is wrong in his eyes, I am going to cancel the trip so he doesn't have an excuse to control me, at all.

In December, 2010, Australia's summer holidays, I felt alone, nobody to talk to, I talked to my Sister about my religion, told her about some things I read on the internet, Like Islam allowing husbands to hit their wives, she told me "This just makes me love my religion more and want to know more about it," She was not shocked at all that I didn't consider myself a Muslim, After my sister suggesting that I talk to my Mum about it, and my Mum seeing me with an upset face day and night, she came up to me and asked me what the matter was, I told her everything, she was indeed shocked and didn't think that I actually wanted to leave Islam completely, she had no idea of the truth even though I just told her about it.

In January, 2011, I was very upset that I could not do anything for New Years, due to my religion, I carried an upset face for a few days, My Ignorant father thought this was angled at him, and started ignoring me, I was completely angry, My Mum told me to apologize, as usual, and I did.. I did not want the trip to Singapore & Malaysia that my Mum planned to be full of hate, I wanted it to be good for my family, especially for my siblings.

I pretended to be happy the whole trip, My dad pissing me off so many more times, especially about Islam, here I am now, Lots of invites for things to do for Australia day, me depressed because I have to pretend to be something I am not, in the background my father telling me to go pray... Nothing has changed over the years, My Dad gets angry when I want to hang out with "non-Muslims", when he starts conversations about marriage and talking about cousins marrying each other, I keep telling him "That's something I'd never do, that's disgusting", and I end up getting shouted at, My father also once shouted at me for saying "What's wrong with my cousin marrying a japanese person?" All I got in response was "YOU ARE GOING TO MARRY AN ARAB MUSLIM, END OF DISCUSSION"

My Dad knows somethings up, he has told my Sister a few times that "Even if he hates Islam, or hates praying, I just want him to talk to me about it"

My Sister and Brother know I do not pray, my Mother and I have not had any conversations, and here I am now, on the brink of breaking, I am going to tell my Father soon, is what I keep telling myself.

I just don't believe in magic, unicorns, fairies, why should I believe in something like God, or like Angels and Jin, Why should I believe that God is the most merciful, yet in the Quraan, all I see is violence, horrific things, The "Prophet" Muhammad, Marrying a 6 year old, then having sex with her when she was 9, The allowance of beating of wives, More than 1 wife, and much more that I cannot be bothered writing about, every time I try talk to someone about this, I am told that I am too young to understand, when I am older I will understand, yet according to the Quraan, I am being judged and my sins are being counted.

No way in the world am I going to return to Islam, I just want a way out.

Please help me with a way of letting this out in the open.
Last edited by Selvest on Tue Jan 11, 2011 3:15 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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enceladus
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Re: Teenager with issues.

Post by enceladus »

Hi Selvest - welcome!

It's very sad to see what you have gone through. As you have figured out yourself (and good on you for doing so), religion can certainly badly affect how people think, even to the shocking extent of making someone (your father in this case) wanting to harm his family.

I'm sure you will find much support here - there are a number of ex-Muslims here, and I'm sure at least some of them have gone through similar experiences. I wish I could help you more myself, but I've never been Muslim (thank goodness!).

Stick around here, ay - I'm sure you will enjoy your time here.
Just while I'm here, I thought I'd mention this forum too -
http://councilofexmuslims.com/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

That's the "council of ex-Muslims of Britain". Although I haven't been to that forum (never having been Muslim), it may also be worth checking out.

Bye for now - best wishes.....
- enceladus

Selvest
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Joined: Tue Jan 11, 2011 5:56 am

Re: Teenager with issues.

Post by Selvest »

Thanks a lot, still need help in leaving completely though :s

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Sten
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Re: Teenager with issues.

Post by Sten »

Hi Selvest,

You have probably heard this before, but unfortunately the best thing to do is wait until you are 18 and financially independant before you tell your parents about your stance on religion. At the moment your father has total control of your life because he is your parent and guardian. The last thing you want is for him to cut off all your support forcing you to quit school and get a dead end job just to feed yourself.

Much as I hate to say this, you are just going to have to stick it out I'm afraid mate. Look on the bright side though, plenty of people had a shitty school life and after you turn 20 you are your own man and life is awesome. There will still be parties and girls and drinking and friends, trust me on this one. Use this time where you are not in control of your life to study hard and develop skills that you will need when you don't have your parents to financially support you.

Above all, when you do finally tell your parents about your deconversion, try your best to stay on good terms with them. Don't raise your voice even if they do, keep calm and level, act like the mature one, and if your dad flips his lid just treat it like it's inconsequential and assume he will change his mind. Tell him you are always here if he wants to reconsider, don't make anything final because he will be too proud and stubborn to talk to you again. Remember that he is just an average bloke who is trying to run his family the only way he knows, there's no magic spell or user manual that instantly turns someone into a parent, they are fallible and can do stupid things just like us. Understand that he needs to feel like he is in control of his family, there's nothing worse than feeling like your kids don't respect or listen to you. The aim of the game here is compromise, at least until you are 18.

Good luck mate, hope everything turns out ok for you.
The universe seems neither benign nor hostile, merely indifferent.
- Carl Sagan

Selvest
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Joined: Tue Jan 11, 2011 5:56 am

Re: Teenager with issues.

Post by Selvest »

As minor as my issue may sound, If I wait any longer I may turn to suicide, I have already thought about it & Even tried it once.

I thought I could at least wait until 16, but I cannot hold on any longer.

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Ariel
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Re: Teenager with issues.

Post by Ariel »

Selvest wrote:As minor as my issue may sound, If I wait any longer I may turn to suicide, I have already thought about it & Even tried it once.

I thought I could at least wait until 16, but I cannot hold on any longer.
You have to Selvest. Be strong, and try to act like a good son. When you are a bit older, you will be a free man and life will be beautiful for you.
You are now free from Islam in your head, and then, over a couple of years you will be totally free from Islam , and then you can help other girls and boys who are in the same situation as you are now because you understand and know how they feel. Perhaps that is your goal in life, so please try to stick it out . I feel for you, but now for the time being you must enjoy life as much as possible and you shall see that time goes fast. For that you realise, the time will come that you are a free man.
For the time being, you have to study hard and try to learn as much as possible so that you will have a good job and earn good money when you are older.

I am sorry we are not much help to you, but many of us went through the same problems when we were younger, and we have made it, as you also will make it.

Good luck Selvest . You can do it.
The heart of the wise inclines to the right,
but the heart of the fool to the left.

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Sten
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Re: Teenager with issues.

Post by Sten »

drop that weak suicide sh!t man. think of all the women you'd be missing out on. Power through these next few years, study what you love and get a decent paying job, and before you know it you'll have your own car. Start saving up for a car today. Get one of these:

Image

And then the world will be your oyster.
The universe seems neither benign nor hostile, merely indifferent.
- Carl Sagan

Selvest
Posts: 12
Joined: Tue Jan 11, 2011 5:56 am

Re: Teenager with issues.

Post by Selvest »

Thanks guys, but I wasn't completely specific in the post, I'm pretty much in a social prison, I feel like sh!t day in and day out. Anywho, I'll try my best :\.

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Ariel
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Re: Teenager with issues.

Post by Ariel »

Selvest wrote:Thanks guys, but I wasn't completely specific in the post, I'm pretty much in a social prison, I feel like sh!t day in and day out. Anywho, I'll try my best :\.

Good sweetheart. I am glad you will try your best. Most of us were in a social prison your age, and look at us now. I was 17 when I left home. I went nursing and I had to stay in a sister house near the hospital. It was heaven because I had much more freedom then at home. Although there were strict rules in that sister house it was still better then to be at home.
Your time will come too . You can go to an university not too close to your home town and then you can take a room on a campus . There are so many things you can do to feel free.

And ofcourse you feel sh!t. We all did at your age. But remember what does not kill you makes you stronger.
The heart of the wise inclines to the right,
but the heart of the fool to the left.

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Sten
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Re: Teenager with issues.

Post by Sten »

Selvest wrote:Thanks guys, but I wasn't completely specific in the post, I'm pretty much in a social prison, I feel like sh!t day in and day out. Anywho, I'll try my best :\.
Lots of people are in the same boat, unfortunately until you're an adult you don't have much say in how your life is run. When you legally become an adult your life will change direction, and you alone will be responsible for yourself. When I turned 18 I moved into my own place and worked in the city. Nobody could tell me what to do. Thats a challenging but awesome time which is worth waiting for. I know that doesn't sound helpful but its the truth man. Start looking at cars, a car is your key to 1000 opportunities.
The universe seems neither benign nor hostile, merely indifferent.
- Carl Sagan

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IoshkaFutz
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Re: Teenager with issues.

Post by IoshkaFutz »

Ciao Selvest,

Thank you for your testimony, which kept me riveted. I like the way you write. The others already gave you some advice. All I can say is take those suicidal feelings and then flip 'em around 180° degrees. It's obvious from every throbbing word that you write so well that you want to live!

I don't want to convert you to any religion, but just believe me when I say that your thoughts are toying with a great big sin against every molecule (and even the farts) of your body.

First of all count your blessings. You're in Australia and not in a village in the middle of nowhere and you're connected to about 3 billion other people. The couple of years to freedom go by quickly and soon enough the present unhappiness will be behind you. Hold steady. You've got enough to worry about so at least give your own self a break. Are you the problem? No. So why even consider taking it out on yourself (let alone taking yourself out)!?

Welcome to FFI and thanks again for your testimony.

Viva Selvest!
“The ultimate test of a moral society is the kind of world that it leaves to its children.”
Dietrich Bonhoeffer - German Lutheran Pastor and Theologian. His involvement in a plot to overthrow Adolf Hitler led to his imprisonment and execution. 1906-1945

ringmaster
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Re: Teenager with issues.

Post by ringmaster »

Selvest wrote:Thanks guys, but I wasn't completely specific in the post, I'm pretty much in a social prison, I feel like sh!t day in and day out. Anywho, I'll try my best :\.

Leaving islam is like having a really good bowel movement.

In your own mind, you have already accompilshed that by telling that allah guy and his manwhore prophet to go to hell.

The next part after having a good dump is to wipe your butt and have a good bath and shower. That part, figureatively speaking, will come when you are old enough to be independent financially. That may take a while. In the meantime, concentrate on doing well in school and/or acquiring skills and knowledge that will enable you to support and/or defend yourself.

Unhappily, the day will come when you may have to disappear to protect yourself. You could very well be the target of an attempted honor killing because of your apostasy. I suggest you study martial arts, like Brazilian Ju Jitsu. You might even be able to persuade your dad that you are preparing for jihad. A little deception wouldn't hurt.
The prophet of Islam was nothing more than a common criminal.

Please tell me if this is accurate:

“I have fabricated things against God and have imputed to Him words which He has not spoken.”
~MUHAMMAD (Al-Tabari 6:111)

Lili
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Joined: Tue Oct 05, 2010 6:59 am

Re: Teenager with issues.

Post by Lili »

Hey there Selvest!

Thank you for your heartfelt testimony. I can only imagine what you must be going through on a daily basis. How many years of school do you have left? At what age do Australians normally become independent? My main advice to you: whatever you decide to do, stay in school until you graduate, do not drop out.

I can see your desire for freedom and it's perhaps a lot more than regular teenage rebellion. Be careful with who you text, and obviously be careful with what pages you visit on the internet. Make sure your Dad is not watching you, especially this site. I've seen psychotic parents install key loggers on their kids' computers and read everything they wrote on forums. We don't want you to get in trouble.

One more practical advice on the matter: start looking into schools and whatever educational programs abroad that would help you escape your family. If you are a good student and able to get scholarships, you won't have to depend on your parents to pay for your education. As an Australian citizen, you will always have more opportunities open to you worldwide, and you will enjoy your independence once you get it. Hang in there and be safe.

Selvest
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Joined: Tue Jan 11, 2011 5:56 am

Re: Teenager with issues.

Post by Selvest »

Lili wrote:Hey there Selvest!

Thank you for your heartfelt testimony. I can only imagine what you must be going through on a daily basis. How many years of school do you have left? At what age do Australians normally become independent? My main advice to you: whatever you decide to do, stay in school until you graduate, do not drop out.

I can see your desire for freedom and it's perhaps a lot more than regular teenage rebellion. Be careful with who you text, and obviously be careful with what pages you visit on the internet. Make sure your Dad is not watching you, especially this site. I've seen psychotic parents install key loggers on their kids' computers and read everything they wrote on forums. We don't want you to get in trouble.

One more practical advice on the matter: start looking into schools and whatever educational programs abroad that would help you escape your family. If you are a good student and able to get scholarships, you won't have to depend on your parents to pay for your education. As an Australian citizen, you will always have more opportunities open to you worldwide, and you will enjoy your independence once you get it. Hang in there and be safe.
Thanks!,

I will stay in school until university, and here in Australia we have something called the "Hex System" which means that the government pays for university until you get a job and then you pay them back bit by bit.

I am also a computer genius, I know all about hacking so my parents have no chance :), I have a password on my phone + on my computer, so that isn't an issue.

I told my mother today and she said I have one week to change back or I get kicked out, I thought she was extremely supportive but I guess religion gets to her, this makes me extremely sad, she also said she was going to tell my Dad, who is extremely crazy and will probably attempt to kill me, she later came and told me aslong as I do not talk to my Brother & Sister about religion, she won't kick me out nor tell my Dad, but I also have to follow the rules of the house, so no socializing still.

****.. My.. Life..

I've got 2 years until I'm in university, I really want to do engineering so I'll hopefully go for that, My Dad is very crazy about study and will go through anything, even hurting me physically, to do well. (Even though I'm in GATE (Extension classes) and doing high courses at school and he still thinks it's not enough and that I've never made him proud..

I'm really in a bad position and due to it have gotten psychological problems and will probably see a psychologist as I am mentally scarred from my Dad & the religion.

Lili
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Re: Teenager with issues.

Post by Lili »

Selvest wrote: Thanks!,

I will stay in school until university, and here in Australia we have something called the "Hex System" which means that the government pays for university until you get a job and then you pay them back bit by bit.

I am also a computer genius, I know all about hacking so my parents have no chance :), I have a password on my phone + on my computer, so that isn't an issue.

I told my mother today and she said I have one week to change back or I get kicked out, I thought she was extremely supportive but I guess religion gets to her, this makes me extremely sad, she also said she was going to tell my Dad, who is extremely crazy and will probably attempt to kill me, she later came and told me aslong as I do not talk to my Brother & Sister about religion, she won't kick me out nor tell my Dad, but I also have to follow the rules of the house, so no socializing still.

****.. My.. Life..

I've got 2 years until I'm in university, I really want to do engineering so I'll hopefully go for that, My Dad is very crazy about study and will go through anything, even hurting me physically, to do well. (Even though I'm in GATE (Extension classes) and doing high courses at school and he still thinks it's not enough and that I've never made him proud..

I'm really in a bad position and due to it have gotten psychological problems and will probably see a psychologist as I am mentally scarred from my Dad & the religion.

I see. As far as I understand, your parents are supportive of you getting proper education, right? Then pretend to be studying even when you are not. Claim you are too busy to participate in all their religious BS. Show them that you have better things to worry about, like your education; start looking into schools, make it a priority and let them know. No matter how hard they press on you, they probably won't limit you as far as that goes. If your Dad sees how serious you are about your future, he might give you a break.

Your father probably does not want you to give into this "Western culture" thing, him being religious and all. You are young and it's natural for you to socialize. Trust me, if you suddenly "grow up" in your father's eyes, he'll be forced to cut you a slack.

I'd recommend you to talk to your school counselor and friends rather than confiding in your family at this point. Growing up in a religious household takes a toll on many teens; they tend to become very determined and independent once they reach legal age. Use your remaining two years as time when you still get a free room and free food and try to count your blessings as difficult as that might be right now. As long as you know there's a better future waiting for you, you will make it through.

ringmaster
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Re: Teenager with issues.

Post by ringmaster »

Selvest wrote:
I am also a computer genius, I know all about hacking so my parents have no chance :), I have a password on my phone + on my computer, so that isn't an issue.
Then I suggest you take steps to hack your Dad’s computer.
Selvest wrote:
I told my mother today and she said I have one week to change back or I get kicked out, I thought she was extremely supportive but I guess religion gets to her, this makes me extremely sad, she also said she was going to tell my Dad, who is extremely crazy and will probably attempt to kill me, she later came and told me as long as I do not talk to my Brother & Sister about religion, she won't kick me out nor tell my Dad, but I also have to follow the rules of the house, so no socializing still.

It would have been better if you had not told your mother, but what is done is done. I repeat my suggestion that you study martial arts, especially Brazilain Ju Jitsu.

Selvest wrote:

I've got 2 years until I'm in university, I really want to do engineering so I'll hopefully go for that, My Dad is very crazy about study and will go through anything, even hurting me physically, to do well. (Even though I'm in GATE (Extension classes) and doing high courses at school and he still thinks it's not enough and that I've never made him proud.
Don’t worry about making your dad proud. Worry about making yourself proud. You should not be worried about the sentiments of people who want to hurt you physically, including your dad.

Selvest wrote:
I'm really in a bad position and due to it have gotten psychological problems and will probably see a psychologist as I am mentally scarred from my Dad & the religion.
I will paraphrase General George Patton, who, when his superiors cautioned him to protect his flanks, replied: “Let the Hun worry about his flanks”.

It is better that you turn the tables as best you can so that your dad is scared of you rather than the other way round.

See my suggestion about Martial Arts above.

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Ibn Rushd
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Re: Teenager with issues.

Post by Ibn Rushd »

Poor fella!

I hope you can last. My first uni. was very pro-Islam, and I was considering not graduating, but I completed the final two years, got another BA, and now am working on my MA degree.
There is no Master but the Master, and QT-1 is his Prophet.

Asimov's robot story "Reason"

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expozIslam
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Re: Teenager with issues.

Post by expozIslam »

Selvest wrote:
No way in the world am I going to return to Islam, I just want a way out.
So, you have found one. Whenever you feel bad, upset and want to rant come here and express yourself.
Selvest wrote: Please help me with a way of letting this out in the open.
I think you have already helped yourself a lot but I want you to remember one thing. Committing suicide means you accepting defeat and I am sure you don't want that more so because you are not a looser. You cannot be. I am sure you will turn out to be a brilliant human being. All that you need to do is hang out a bit longer and keep in mind that it is responsibility of people like you and us to rid this beautiful earth of this wretched medieval mentality that has been responsible for loss of your childhood. I am sure you would not want another kid to go through the same.

Welcome to FFI and feel free.
“The truth, of course, is that a billion falsehoods told a billion times by a billion people are still false.”

Rebel
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Re: Teenager with issues.

Post by Rebel »

Wow..You're not the one with issues. Your dad is.

Aren't there laws in Australia to help minors against abusive parents?

Selvest
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Joined: Tue Jan 11, 2011 5:56 am

Re: Teenager with issues.

Post by Selvest »

Rebel wrote:Wow..You're not the one with issues. Your dad is.

Aren't there laws in Australia to help minors against abusive parents?
Yeah probably, I'm too good of a son to ever do something like that to my Dad.

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