Apostate of Islam and now alone

[enceladus]

Good to hear from you again, Aaliyah!

I can't add much to what I've already said.
Take care, ay - I wish you the very best of luck.
- enceladus

[AMohammad]

I am 17 and have recently freed myself from Islam and it's backwards ideologies. But however being the only member of my family to have crossed this path I sit in darkness, alone. To them I am a different person, I have two personalities. Around them I am still Muslim who prays, fasts and reads the quran mindlessly but deep down I am an agnostic/atheist teenager who has a free mind, drinks, smokes, mingles and does almost everything Islam prohibits. Apart from sex lol.
I need my family, not only financially but I love them all. I know it'll be over for me if I tell them, my dad will probably end my life or disown me (considering that I am a female). I hate what religion does to families! it separates us all.
None of them know who I truly am and what I am capable of.
Well anyway I don't exactly know where to begin with this but let me go on further and try to explain the reasons I left. First of all, the teachings are just absurd. Ever since I was little I was afraid of Allah, I had no compassion for him. To me he was just this being that punished you brutally if you didn't obey his commands. I felt oppressed, my mum would say these horrible things to me about what would happen if I disobeyed Allah. Whenever I questioned the teachings she'd ignore me. She'd tell me how life was short and we should do all we can to obey Allah. She'd threaten me with the day of judgment. She'd bash at me for drawing pictures (I am an art student) of humans and tell me how Allah will order me to bring them to life. My parents don't give a sh!t about what I do in life, they don't care about my achievements. But if I do something to do with Islam then it's a different story - I'd always get compared to my pious cousin.
My parents attacked me for having non-Muslim friends- they'd blame them for the way I was behaving (Drawing, listening to music, dressing differently). I got caught wearing shorts and my dad wouldn't let me see my friends. He prayed they'd all get hit by a car. He accused me of being brainwashed by the west! I mean as soon as I think for myself does that mean I am brain washed? But anyway a little off topic here lol. So I read some of the english translations of the quran, never had I read such a negative book in my life! I mean it's full of contradictions, hatred and violence. Especially the Surahs that were revealed in Medina. To me the prophet just seemed like a power, wealth and sex hungry pedophile. He raped slave women, he had 13 wives and he slept with a child ( I am sorry I don't care what the circumstances are..but that's just horrid!). I've been on numerous Islamic sites where they try to defend his acts but fail miserably. The unhealthy approach islam has to modesty is just dumb and the way women are considered second class citizens. They claim that Islam gave women rights way before the west, in my opinion Islam gave us a pet status a sort of animal that needs to be tended to and taken care of. Equality is completely out of the question! and in return women always be sexually available and must look after HIS home when he's out. Women can't travel without a mahram (this has excluded me from field trips abroad) and women have to wear hijab (I don't need a hijab to be modest).
Also what makes me laugh is all these sudden scientific claims in the quran, they were never heard of till recently where some desperate Muslims try to take ambiguous ayahs that could mean anything and turn them scientific! I have failed to see any leading scientists whom are Muslims. It's just stupid and sad really!
Furthermore; My mum once told me to never question the teachings of Islam. I've even read a sahih bukari hadith about this! this certainly insulted my intelligence and sanity! It's most excellent human nature to question. That's how we learn, we don't follow blindly it's j mentally damaging.
I also can't understand praying and fasting, it's not helping anyone, it's just a waste of time. It's also mindless, the way we bow down and babble surahs that we can't understand the meaning of!
Finally I can't respect a god who puts worship above everything! a good god would make love and morality primary! a good god would create a religion that did us all good and yet I fail to see any good Islam has done. Apart from zakat but that's mostly only given to poor muslims. Why do we need a book to tell us right from wrong, especially one full of contradictions and stupidity. We all know right from wrong.

This came out as a little rant sorry and I can go on forever but I just sorta needed to get it off my chest haha. oh and nice to meet ya'll

I have to say I have gone through what you did, from the male perspective. Though my family are more moderate when it comes to female liberty, there is still the double standard, and since I am male I reap the benefit. But that's besides the point. I'm glad to see someone else has gone through my exact ordeal regarding Islam. I was scared of 'Allah', I would do things out of fear for Allah. I wouldn't even imagine how low it would be to sink as a 'kafir' which I have always been warned about as a child, and how the kafir and the polytheists really hurt the poor defenseless 'Prophet' and they deserved what they got. After having doubt ever since a kid (my logical side being ever strong) I grew up and still carried it with me, and decided to dig deep. The intolerance, the hate, the bigots, turning good people into brainwashed monsters, it is truly a terrible thing. And I am the brainwashed one because I looked up at a Qur'an 'translated by a Jew and liars' and when presented side by side with Arabic text had the same meaning, how I am 'biased' because I look at things from the other side, and how the Qur'an can't be taken 'literally' but 'spiritually', and I need tafsir + other crap to truly grasp this masterpiece of literature. I used Occam's Razor and cut through the baloney.

I'm glad you are free to think your own thoughts, and now properly able to follow the golden rule. Islam is the reason for the backwardness that Arabs are in today, not today's 'corrupt leaders' who don't follow the 'TRUE Islam'. Even women in pre-Islam arabia had more rights, Khadija was a wealthy widow who managed her own enterprise, there was Asma Bint Marwan, female poet who criticized Mohammad and he had her assassinated (of course, this is a Jewish source or some conspiracy claimed by muslims) and Aisha and (I forgot her name) females who raised armies. The period of 'Jahiliyeh' I believe is fabricated, since any material besides Islamic and praising Mohammad were destroyed. This man is a fanatic who has a strong cult, and it must be stopped at all costs, or we'll lose our ideologies and freedom that Mohammad fought so hard to take away from us.

[Aaliyah]

Sorry I take ages to reply, my laptop charger was broken and it would have been dangerous for me to use the family computer.

@AMohammad
It's good to hear your intellect took over while you had the chance. I say live your life, live it cause it maybe the only life you will have. Muslims claim so much but most ignore the negative sides of Islam. Or they'll try to sugar coat it...There is nothing Muslims can say that can justify Mohamed sexual intercourse with a 9 year old! it's disgusting and immoral..my sister is nine! and the fact 7th century Arabs would consider marriageable is beyond me. And plus wouldn't god have known this would be unacceptable in the future. A good prophet would never have kept and had sex with slaves, with nine year olds, he would never have killed so many so brutally. I fail to see barely any good sides of Mohamed .
Muslims are in shock when they hear about apostasy, I think people are leaving Islam more than we think! They just don't have the opportunity to speak out. The problem with the Islamic scholars is that they tend to cover up all the negative sources about Mohamed, it's pretty difficult to find an unbiased analysis of the actual life of the prophet. But if you think about it, it only takes someone curious a short time to gather sources and judge for themselves. As I have done, as you have done and many curious westerners. It's freedom of speech! we should be able to criticize Islam without being under threat. They claim how Islam has given women rights before any others. Yet a fail to see these so called rights...women in marriage, family and finance, womens inheritance, womens dress code, womens attitude, gender differences and so on. To me it's just heaps of rules that make no sense, it dosen't bring justice and most of it violates human rights. Don't get me wrong this isn't just Islam but all those other cults out there (mainly the three Abrahamic religions).
Also this whole crap about looking at the quran literally! and then as soon as you get a controversial verse suddenly you have to look at it symbolically. Also these so called scientific discoveries in the quran, are they looked at literally? they can't be.. for example this one verse that says how god separated the heavens and the earth (supposedly the big bang) this could mean anything, Muslims have twisted and lied to get there way. It's ridiculous!

I just took an unbiased approach to Islam and look where I am now. Many Muslims won't be able to do this as Islam forbids free thought. I have nothing against religion but as soon people start going through desperate measures and forcing faith on you then that's when it becomes personal. In my opinion I think religion will eventually die out, Islam is not growing it's just over populating the west due to high numbers of immigration.

[yeezevee]

Welcome to ffi dear Aaliyah., so glad to read your posts.

Sorry I take ages to reply, my laptop charger was broken and it would have been dangerous for me to use the family computer.

@AMohammad
........There is nothing Muslims can say that can justify Mohamed sexual intercourse with a 9 year old! it's disgusting and immoral..my sister is nine! and the fact 7th century Arabs would consider marriageable is beyond me. And plus wouldn't god have known this would be unacceptable in the future. A good prophet would never have kept and had sex with slaves, with nine year olds, he would never have killed so many so brutally. I fail to see barely any good sides of Mohamed .

I am not certain that Arab pagans of that time or people living in and around Mecca were marrying and having sex with 9 year old children dear Aaliyah. Muhammad's family itself as a example of that. The fact Muhammad's father had only one wife and many of his uncles had only one wife and none of them married 9 year old child., And and the fact Muhammad married twice divorced Khadija, a business owner employing men to do the Job itself proves the social, political and economical status of women in that society was indeed as good as it was for men . So I would disagree with you on that. But it may be possible some Bedouin baboons in the middle of that Arabian desert had such stupid custom of marrying and having sex with 9 year old children.

Muslims are in shock when they hear about apostasy, I think people are leaving Islam more than we think! They just don't have the opportunity to speak out. The problem with the Islamic scholars is that they tend to cover up all the negative sources about Mohamed, it's pretty difficult to find an unbiased analysis of the actual life of the prophet.

Indeed you have nailed the mentality of uneducated Muslim bums who not only take Quran as word of God but they enforce that silly belief with in family, within town and within society. Now the goal of forums like ffi is to uncover what these so-called Islamic scholars covered up. So what these so-called Islamic scholars, including sufi Muslims did wa ( still do ) "Put a black burkha on women folk and a black burkha on Muhammad's life story and another balck burkha on Islamic horrible history" so that no light enters in to the brain of people in the society. Simply they control the society with silly Quran as word of Allah. And on top of it, they tell some goody goody stories on Allah/Muhammad/Caliphs to dope/brain wash those who have not read Quran, Hadith and Islamic history. http://www.faithfreedom.org/forum/viewtopic.php?t=15311 .

And those who question such horrible history of Islam and the horrible life Messenger of Allah were murdered out rightly in public by his followers during that time and even today. Thanks to internet., for the past 10 years or so, those burkhas are getting uncovered and people are questioning Islam on web and some times in public.

With best wishes
yeezevee

[Aaliyah]

@ Yeezevee sorry I made an error in my writing I had meant to say 'The fact Mohammad considered sex with Ayesha At the tender age of nine is beyond me' There are Islamic hadiths that have proved this. Although I am not sure all Pagan Arabs were doing it at the time, maybe it was just Mohammad. Which so further deduct his status as the most moral and perfect of character

[enceladus]

Hi again Aaliyah -

I've found some information which may be useful to you.
First, a link here about a woman in New Zealand who has hired a guy called Frank Ahearn (apparently one of the world's leading privacy experts) to enable her to "disappear". She was being forced into an unwanted arranged marriage -
http://www.stuff.co.nz/national/4097794 ... -to-vanish

And here is Frank Ahearn's website. This seems to have some really useful info on how to disappear -
http://www.frankahearn.com/

Anyway, just thought I'd pass this info on. Feel free to use it or not....
Bye for now -
- enceladus

[ldnchk]

Thank you for sharing.

Do you have an escape plan? If not you should seriously make one - there have been several stories of girls who have been killed by their parents and wouldn't want you to be a victim as well.

[expozIslam]

Thanks wootah, I've also read your testimony my heart goes out to you too. I dream of the day this horrible cult dies out and our children are raised in a society where they are free to think for themselves. I'll be dead by then though lol

Welcome to FFI and you won't be dead by then. Technology has put an end to the only way Islam could survive for so long. Now people can and do question Islam as an ideology without getting killed.

[Aaliyah]

Hi again Aaliyah -

I've found some information which may be useful to you.
First, a link here about a woman in New Zealand who has hired a guy called Frank Ahearn (apparently one of the world's leading privacy experts) to enable her to "disappear". She was being forced into an unwanted arranged marriage -
http://www.stuff.co.nz/national/4097794 ... -to-vanish

And here is Frank Ahearn's website. This seems to have some really useful info on how to disappear -
http://www.frankahearn.com/

Anyway, just thought I'd pass this info on. Feel free to use it or not....
Bye for now -
- enceladus

lool G thanks dude You have inspired me to carry out my big clandestine operation

[Aaliyah]

Thanks wootah, I've also read your testimony my heart goes out to you too. I dream of the day this horrible cult dies out and our children are raised in a society where they are free to think for themselves. I'll be dead by then though lol

Welcome to FFI and you won't be dead by then. Technology has put an end to the only way Islam could survive for so long. Now people can and do question Islam as an ideology without getting killed.

But they are flooding in to the west with their ideologies..I think it'll be a while till people realise..It's hard to deal with faith. Most Muslims are and will always continue with their blind faith..The truth hurts lol

[enceladus]

lool G thanks dude You have inspired me to carry out my big clandestine operation

Ok....
Very best wishes and best of luck!
- enceladus

[Al Hope]

Your wings are stronger than you know.

Staying in the same city sounds risky. You can love your family from a distance for a few years. If you move, you'll really need to stay away from Muslim neighborhoods for a good while too. But, making new friends in a new place can be exciting, fun and easier than you may think. You can find some nice, non-judgemental girl friends to hang out with in no time. You will need to allow yourself to be lonely too because the friends in your future will take a while to establish. A little background, back in college I used to love to party. Well, I stopped drinking 15 years ago. To break away from it, I really needed to stay out of bars and the whole party scene. I rarely spend time with "partiers" today but I have many wonderful people in my life, including lovely wife and daugther. Be strong.

Al Hope

P.S. Keep or toss any of this old guy's suggestions...you know yourself better than anyone else.

[Ibn Rushd]

Welcome Aaliyah, and AMohammad.