I'm a Christian, albeit not a very good one, nevertheless I have no fear of death because of what Christ has done for each one of us that accept it— his life, a sacrifice freely given, so that all can be redeemed and none need fear hell.
I am convinced God does not want you to fear him, what relationship is that? any relationship based on fear is a desperate and controlling one. If Jesus (who called God Father) is to be believed, this is definitely NOT what God wants from us.
Jesus himself said and did many things, to many people, but he never caused harm to anyone, rather he brought healing and restoration. If you want to know what Jesus taught about God I would recommend looking at his story of the prodigal son, this shows clearly that God's heart is for us, though he won't impose Himself where we take our own path—rather, He waits for us to come back to him and runs to greet us, not in judgement, but in restoration, so there is nothing to fear at all.
The attached link will explain better than I could
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You may not think that Jesus is God's son, so what. All you need do for now is to keep an open mind, wherever it leads.
All your questions about the nature of God will find answers if you look at what Jesus said and did. You will find it all in the New Testament and I would recommend the NIV version for readability, as it is a modern translation.
Finally, do not fear, as the Bible says you are fearfully(different context) and wonderfully made, dear Hollowscar. The chains of fear that still bind you should be recognised for what they are. God does not want you bound up in them, but released to be all that you can be, not in human lusts and headenistic pleasure, but in living a just and good life without fear and with the assurance Christ gives to all who follow him.