My reason for considering leaving. My mini Biography.

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HollowScar
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My reason for considering leaving. My mini Biography.

Post by HollowScar »

Dear fellow mates,

My name is <deleted by M>, and I am 19 now. As a matter of fact, I am a born Muslim, and I almost finished the holy book this Ramadan. A year ago, I was an observant muslim. All this time, I knew something was missing. My heart was not on the right place. I did pray, and hoped for inner peace in the least, but did not get that. It felt like a one way street. Now, I will agree that I am a sinner, and by that I mean I did lust after girls, but I tried to improve. It is just that recently one day I was talking to a friend, and he called Jesus (PBUH) a bitch, and after further inquiry, he told me that religion is baloney. I asked him more, and he told me that in Ethiopia, many people pray, but the country in itself is full of troubles. He also told me that religion was created by man. I tried to prove him wrong, but he asked me why God was not acting. I told him, that it was to teach patience, and then he shrugged. That was it. God was not doing anything major on this Earth that we could notice. In another words, we praised him all this time, but what has he done? Many westerners swear Jesus, every time something is wrong, and what does God do? He noes absolutely nothing on this earth for his prophets. His prophets who worked hard for him. I believe in him as the prophet, and if Christians believe him to be the son of God, then that is even worse, because then that God who died in the cross for everyone, would be shunned by many of his followers when they get angry, and yell out his name.

I am by all means a simple ambivalent person, and am not too forced. I do agree that I have had facial deformity, which made me all that different than others. I mean, all the people who I looked acceptance from, I only got from few. I am not attractive, charming, academic, or even athletic. I consider myself to be useless. Yet, even God could not provide me with inner peace that I longed for. Islam was a hope for me, but now, even when I asked God to give me a dream to prove me wrong, I got nothing.

How about you guy's? What are your stories? Do you believe in God at all? If so, what religion do you follow, and why? What do you think happens to you after you die? Any fears?

My favorite movie is Vanilla Sky, and I absolutely love it, especially the ending. For some reason, I feel good watching that movie.
"Do you remember what you told me once? That every passing minute is a another chance to turn it all around" - Vanilla Sky
"If I could just go back... if I could rub everything out... starting with myself" - The Talented Mr. Ripley
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HollowScar
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My reason for considering leaving. My mini Biography.

Post by HollowScar »

Dear fellow mates,

My name is <deleted by M>, and I am 19 now. As a matter of fact, I am a born Muslim, and I almost finished the holy book this Ramadan. A year ago, I was an observant muslim. All this time, I knew something was missing. My heart was not on the right place. I did pray, and hoped for inner peace in the least, but did not get that. It felt like a one way street. Now, I will agree that I am a sinner, and by that I mean I did lust after girls, but I tried to improve. It is just that recently one day I was talking to a friend, and he called Jesus (PBUH) a bitch, and after further inquiry, he told me that religion is baloney. I asked him more, and he told me that in Ethiopia, many people pray, but the country in itself is full of troubles. He also told me that religion was created by man. I tried to prove him wrong, but he asked me why God was not acting. I told him, that it was to teach patience, and then he shrugged. That was it. God was not doing anything major on this Earth that we could notice. In another words, we praised him all this time, but what has he done? Many westerners swear Jesus, every time something is wrong, and what does God do? He noes absolutely nothing on this earth for his prophets. His prophets who worked hard for him. I believe in him as the prophet, and if Christians believe him to be the son of God, then that is even worse, because then that God who died in the cross for everyone, would be shunned by many of his followers when they get angry, and yell out his name.

I am by all means a simple ambivalent person, and am not too forced. I do agree that I have had facial deformity, which made me all that different than others. I mean, all the people who I looked acceptance from, I only got from few. I am not attractive, charming, academic, or even athletic. I consider myself to be useless. Yet, even God could not provide me with inner peace that I longed for. Islam was a hope for me, but now, even when I asked God to give me a dream to prove me wrong, I got nothing.

How about you guy's? What are your stories? Do you believe in God at all? If so, what religion do you follow, and why? What do you think happens to you after you die? Any fears?

My favorite movie is Vanilla Sky, and I absolutely love it, especially the ending. For some reason, I feel good watching that movie.
"Do you remember what you told me once? That every passing minute is a another chance to turn it all around" - Vanilla Sky
"If I could just go back... if I could rub everything out... starting with myself" - The Talented Mr. Ripley
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ixolite
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Re: My reason for considering leaving. My mini Biography.

Post by ixolite »

Personal info deleted.

No multiple threads, please.



P.S.:
:welcome:

P.P.S. To answer your question, I am an ex-catholic atheist.
yeezevee
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Re: My reason for considering leaving. My mini Biography.

Post by yeezevee »

No multiple threads, please.
these multiple posts in the same thread often is an error dear ixolite., It happens when server blocks connection to the site and people by click that button (SUBMIT) twice..

ya.. You Ex-Catholic..huh..?? that is O.K.

Image

with best wishes
yeezevee
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ixolite
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Re: My reason for considering leaving. My mini Biography.

Post by ixolite »

yeezevee wrote:
No multiple threads, please.
these multiple posts in the same thread often is an error dear ixolite., It happens when server blocks connection to the site and people by click that button (SUBMIT) twice..
Those were two threads, I just merged them. :wink:

ya.. You Ex-Catholic..huh..?? that is O.K.
Yup. You didn't know that yet? :???:
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expozIslam
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Re: My reason for considering leaving. My mini Biography.

Post by expozIslam »

:welcome:

You cannot control how you look but you can change how people look upto you.


and it is good that you left Islam. That itself is a proof of how smart you are.
“The truth, of course, is that a billion falsehoods told a billion times by a billion people are still false.”
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HollowScar
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Re: My reason for considering leaving. My mini Biography.

Post by HollowScar »

Thank you for your replies. From a young age, I was naive, and feared my father as he would hit me. To this day, I still despise him, even though he does not hit me. At least he proved his existence to me. With God, the logic works that way. He puts fear into your heart, fear of hell, but never stands up for himself to defend him, when people criticize him, or his prophets. It is a system based on fear, and also based on people enforcing it the wrong way. Very barbaric, and God never once mentions how to enforce these rules in a futuristic human rights world. It is only about time, when these so called poverty stricken, fundamentalist, countries wake up, and be a part of the future, where technology reigns, and we deal with the bigger issues, such as preserving Earth.

If there is a God, he would have replied to my prayers. He would have protected all the children who were massacred, and raped. He would have had no need for Heaven, as he would have made Earth a personal Heaven, where a controlled population could live the rest of eternity, learning, and experiencing newer things. Now, I know that I am naive, and ambivalent, but God would have certainly made the effort to make life full of prosperity.

All the Near Death Experiences, contradict the typical religious philosophy. They all say similar in seeing a tunnel full of white light, and relatives. Maybe, there is a possibility to enter something so visually enticing, and filled with love. Seriously, a few weeks ago, I would have criticized this site, but now I know to open my eyes.

Thanks for your video. For me, I am not that bad, just that all my life I was judged. My parents would always compare me to others, and my father in two instances said in frustration, why I can't die. Now this has nothing to do with religion, as never was he too observant. So him, culture comes before religion. Unfortunately, I have developed Avoidant Personality Disorder, and now will always worry about what others think about me.

So what about you? What religion do you follow now? How did you discover God?
"Do you remember what you told me once? That every passing minute is a another chance to turn it all around" - Vanilla Sky
"If I could just go back... if I could rub everything out... starting with myself" - The Talented Mr. Ripley
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manfred
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Re: My reason for considering leaving. My mini Biography.

Post by manfred »

Dear hollowstar,
a rather wise person on this forum once wrote that that religions divide, and spirituality unites.

Not all religions are the same, and many can help you in becoming a fuller person. In some rare circumstances, even Islam can help, but of all the religions around it is least useful for real spritual growth, I am sorry to say. Religions, at their best, are pathways to spirituality, and at their worst they are a means to enslave you. You are a free person, so make your choices.

The Israelites could have chosen to stay in Egypt as slaves to pharao; they would have had certainty in their days, their food and their shelter. They set off and left. It was not easy, nor was it romantic or glamorous, but it was brave. They chose freedom over slavery. So, will you stay with pharao, or go to the desert? Be under no illusions: on leaving Islam you will enter the desert. It will be some time before you realise the true benefit, and it will require effort. Remember that after the desert comes the promised land. So, yest, it's worth it, most definitely. But don't think it's going to be easy.

Set yourself free. You don't NEED for anybody else. Other people and some writings can help you in that search of yours, but always remember that you have the both the freedom and the duty to make your own choices and follow them through... and take that little piece of advice from an old man: if anyone tells you he has all the answers or that all who disagree with him will go to hell, he is lying. Without exception. He has no power over you because you know him.

Have you read any texts on Buddhism? They are often a wonderful intoduction to spirituality, and they do not make any demands on you as to beliefs. They are are more of a philosophical approach to the questions religions try to approach. You can learn so much from Buddhist teachers, irresptively what religion you are, or even if you have none.
Jesus: "Ask and you will receive." Mohammed: "Take and give me 20%"
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expozIslam
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Re: My reason for considering leaving. My mini Biography.

Post by expozIslam »

HollowScar wrote:Thank you for your replies. From a young age, I was naive, and feared my father as he would hit me. To this day, I still despise him, even though he does not hit me. At least he proved his existence to me. With God, the logic works that way. He puts fear into your heart, fear of hell, but never stands up for himself to defend him, when people criticize him, or his prophets. It is a system based on fear, and also based on people enforcing it the wrong way. Very barbaric, and God never once mentions how to enforce these rules in a futuristic human rights world. It is only about time, when these so called poverty stricken, fundamentalist, countries wake up, and be a part of the future, where technology reigns, and we deal with the bigger issues, such as preserving Earth.


If there is a God, he would have replied to my prayers. He would have protected all the children who were massacred, and raped. He would have had no need for Heaven, as he would have made Earth a personal Heaven, where a controlled population could live the rest of eternity, learning, and experiencing newer things. Now, I know that I am naive, and ambivalent, but God would have certainly made the effort to make life full of prosperity.
That sums how you would expect a God to be if he were to promise an eternity in heaven or hell after this life.
HollowScar wrote: All the Near Death Experiences, contradict the typical religious philosophy. They all say similar in seeing a tunnel full of white light, and relatives. Maybe, there is a possibility to enter something so visually enticing, and filled with love. Seriously, a few weeks ago, I would have criticized this site, but now I know to open my eyes.
NDE's are just NDE's the facts of which are yet to to proven. Until we have verifiably record such experiences, it is your word versus mine.
HollowScar wrote: Thanks for your video. For me, I am not that bad, just that all my life I was judged.
THat guy is not bad. He was born with a bad deformity but his will is what has made him lead a happy life but I got the point that you were trying to make.
HollowScar wrote: My parents would always compare me to others, and my father in two instances said in frustration, why I can't die.
That reflects poorly on your father but I agree it was an awful thing to say.
HollowScar wrote: Now this has nothing to do with religion, as never was he too observant. So him, culture comes before religion.
Unfortunately, I have developed Avoidant Personality Disorder, and now will always worry about what others think about me.
You are not alone. Almost all people are worried about what others will think of them but you need to cultivate the habit of talking to yourself.
I am not sure how much this will help but try this. Prepare a sort of cue card and write down what you think of yourself. Whenever you get a feeling of what others think of you, take out the card and read it. I assume you have a positive opinion of yourself. If not, even then write a positive opinion of yourself on the cue card. Fake it till you make it.
HollowScar wrote: So what about you? What religion do you follow now? How did you discover God?
[/quote]
You don't need to worry about God and if there is one, that God will find you. Try to be a better person everyday and you shall be fine. No one has discovered God, atleast not yet. People create a wrapper of beliefs around their insecurities and call it God. If you can deal with your insecurities on your own, you will become your own God.
“The truth, of course, is that a billion falsehoods told a billion times by a billion people are still false.”
yeezevee
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Re: My reason for considering leaving. My mini Biography.

Post by yeezevee »

HollowScar
I am by all means a simple ambivalent person, and am not too forced. I do agree that I have had facial deformity, which made me all that different than others. I mean, all the people who I looked acceptance from, I only got from few. I am not attractive, charming, academic, or even athletic. I consider myself to be useless. Yet, even God could not provide me with inner peace that I longed for. Islam was a hope for me, but now, even when I asked God to give me a dream to prove me wrong, I got nothing.
How can you write that dear HollowScar ., No..no..No.. You are indeed a Good person, a beautiful person .., Please..remember that there is nothing permanent on this earth ,,,,,FACE, SKIN and everything of every one gets deformed . So what you are born with some deformity ., what is the big deal?? it is irrelevant to how you look and what you are and how you live your life. Please don't put down yourself. And don't worry too much if some one else does that .

What you write is silly to me., how can you say this??
I am not attractive, charming, academic, or even athletic. I consider myself to be useless.
I am not sure about attractive and athletic it is all individual likings., But you are NOT CHARMING?? AND ACADEMIC ?? who said that to you??? You are beautiful and witty., Common get together YOU ARE NOT USELESS. don't say that. You are life and a very good person and have a wonderful gift of ability to convey to others with you words..
Islam was a hope for me, but now, even when I asked God to give me a dream to prove me wrong, I got nothing.
Now.. religion is different case., were you a Muslim before?? or did you recently join in Islam because you didn't get answers for your questions in the religion you were in??

With Best wishes and happy holidays.. May I ask you which continent you live??
yeezevee
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HollowScar
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Re: My reason for considering leaving. My mini Biography.

Post by HollowScar »

I was a muslim all my life. At this age however, after questioning an atheist, I came to a stop. I just don't want to suffer in the hereafter, that's all. Now, what guarantee do I have? Nothing. I feel alone, because I am a minority, who has felt different all his life. So leaving a religion, is not a rebellious game to me, but rather an empty path. If God is my creator, then he has been too quiet, and I may suffer for eternity after death. The question now is, what am I? Who am I?

My purpose according to Islam, was to worship God, and now that I leave, what purpose do I serve? Should I live in a world, where pain and suffering is unpredictable, or should I finally die, and wake up to the truth, no matter how harshly it will affect me? These are the questions that I need answered.
"Do you remember what you told me once? That every passing minute is a another chance to turn it all around" - Vanilla Sky
"If I could just go back... if I could rub everything out... starting with myself" - The Talented Mr. Ripley
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manfred
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Re: My reason for considering leaving. My mini Biography.

Post by manfred »

You have not left Egypt yet, and you are still a slave to fear.

Consider this: If God is indeed good, how can he possibly punish anyone for a decision made in a clear conscience? Suppose you send a small child to a shop to buy sugar, but he brought back flour, because he cannot read yet. You would not punish that child? How much more merciful than you is God?

So, don't be afraid, and let go. Be free and decide all by yourself what you think you should believe in. Islam controls you by fear. Unless you can call Islam's bluff it will have a hold over you for ever.
Jesus: "Ask and you will receive." Mohammed: "Take and give me 20%"
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HollowScar
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Re: My reason for considering leaving. My mini Biography.

Post by HollowScar »

manfred wrote:You have not left Egypt yet, and you are still a slave to fear.

Consider this: If God is indeed good, how can he possibly punish anyone for a decision made in a clear conscience? Suppose you send a small child to a shop to buy sugar, but he brought back flour, because he cannot read yet. You would not punish that child? How much more merciful than you is God?

So, don't be afraid, and let go. Be free and decide all by yourself what you think you should believe in. Islam controls you by fear. Unless you can call Islam's bluff it will have a hold over you for ever.
Manfred, I have a teacher who has the same name as you. He teaches Electrical and Digital in a technical institute here. I think, you are Christian, by your signature. So, you found what you thought to be truth. As for your theory, I have a brain, and I can think. The religious scriptures are there. Now, it is my responsibility to choose the right path. If I don't do that, I will be punished eternally, in both Islam and Christianity. Now, I cannot even be sure, as I do not receive any dreams for which I asked, that can take me to the truth. So, am I doomed, or is there no creator? But then how do we justify all those healings, miracles, jinns, and such? This is eternity I am talking about, so you can understand the dismay I am in. On top of that, I am empty. Always feeling different, I never truly belonged. Right now during the winter break, here i am in front of the computer, as I do not know what else to do. School and home have been most of my life. What did i do to deserve unhappiness? More importantly, what did those poor third world country citizens do suffer a harsh reality? Tell me, where is God? So far compassion comes from people, and not religion.
"Do you remember what you told me once? That every passing minute is a another chance to turn it all around" - Vanilla Sky
"If I could just go back... if I could rub everything out... starting with myself" - The Talented Mr. Ripley
yeezevee
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Re: My reason for considering leaving. My mini Biography.

Post by yeezevee »

HollowScar
Manfred, I have a teacher who has the same name as you. He teaches Electrical and Digital in a technical institute here.
Look at that girl.. and she says she is USELESS..... and she is doing something with Electrical and Digital technology..

I am certain that you are VERY USEFUL dear HollowScar.. but you are crazy.., No I am just kidding..

Have nice Holidays
yeezevee
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expozIslam
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Re: My reason for considering leaving. My mini Biography.

Post by expozIslam »

HollowScar wrote:I have a brain, and I can think.
Everybody can think but few are willing to do so especially when brought up on a strong diet of islam since an early age.
HollowScar wrote: The religious scriptures are there.
What makes a religious scripture something special? Nothing but the belief or fear that people have in/of it. Otherwise, it is just another book and if you were given the same book without telling you that it is a religious scripture, you will in all likelyhood treat it as a fiction.
HollowScar wrote: Now, it is my responsibility to choose the right path.
That is again driven by your islamic bringing. You don't need to be consciously thinking about what the right path is. That is one major reason of pain that you are suffering from. it should come naturally.
HollowScar wrote: If I don't do that, I will be punished eternally, in both Islam and Christianity.
Ask yourself how big a failure God has been if there is one true God. Billions of people with thousands of languages, cultures and yet we are supposed to exist just to worship one creator and yet this creator is such a moron that he creates us to worship him but gives us hunger. it has been thousands of years and yet God has not been able to have humans follow one version of a single religion, forget about following one religion.
HollowScar wrote: Now, I cannot even be sure, as I do not receive any dreams for which I asked, that can take me to the truth.
The only truth is you and your existence.
HollowScar wrote: So, am I doomed, or is there no creator?
No, you are not doomed if you think positive. If there is a creator who supposedly creating all this universe, then he would be magnanimous enough not to be worried about his insignificant creation worshipping him or in believing in him more so since he has given you a brain to think.
If we are programmed with a survival instinct, we ought to have a religious instinct as well but we don't.
HollowScar wrote: But then how do we justify all those healings, miracles, jinns, and such?
Your body is healing all the time. The skin is getting replaced while you are busy going about your life, the parts of organs are dying and new cells are being born constantly. New connections are being made inside your brain as you are reading this statement. As for jinns, no one has ever been able to prove their existence and if jinns did really exist, we would have known by now given how much contempt we show for them. Any human would really would commit suicide for being shamed so much.
HollowScar wrote: This is eternity I am talking about, so you can understand the dismay I am in.
What makes you think that an all powerful creator would go through the farce of creating this world and then roasting 99.99% of the people ever born in hell? Does he like smell of burning meat so much? and what will God do after the judgement day once he has given his judgement. Sit back on his arse and disappear until he gets another brainwave to test a new set of humans?
HollowScar wrote: On top of that, I am empty.
We all can have such moments but you cannot let fear fill that emptyness. Read the different philosophies if you desire so and try to look for reasons that made people say such things. you might find your life filled with things to do.
This emptyness could also be because of lack of purpose in life. To find meaning in your life, try different things and figure out which gives you more joy. Since you are concerned with people in third world countries, why not do something to improve their lives.
HollowScar wrote: Always feeling different, I never truly belonged. Right now during the winter break, here i am in front of the computer, as I do not know what else to do.
and there are thousands like you. You are not alone.
HollowScar wrote: School and home have been most of my life. What did i do to deserve unhappiness?
Happiness or unhappiness is a state of mind. You could be in the worst of situations and yet be happy about it if you aspire to be happy.
You can control to a very large extent how you feel most of the time. Do what appeals to your senses and you will find happiness.
HollowScar wrote: More importantly, what did those poor third world country citizens do suffer a harsh reality?
most of them are still stuck in past and therefore unable to progress with times.
HollowScar wrote: Tell me, where is God? So far compassion comes from people, and not religion.
You have summed it beautifully in " compassion comes from people, and not religion"
“The truth, of course, is that a billion falsehoods told a billion times by a billion people are still false.”
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manfred
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Re: My reason for considering leaving. My mini Biography.

Post by manfred »

hollowstar,

think again about that child I told you about. He came back from the shop with the wrong thing. He tried, but he got it wrong. Surely you would not be angry with him, would you?

What on earth makes you think that unless you choose the "right" religion God will punish you? God is neither cruel nor petty. He want you to seek Him out the way you think best.

Ask yourself this: Why do most Muslims and some Christians say, unless you "belong" to their group God will condemn you to hell? Is it not obvious? They try to control you using fear. As it happens, the vast mojority of Christian do not say that at all, but that is really not important right now. To you it is only important what you decide to be true. You are complete in yourself, and you do not need anybody else to tell you what to think, including me.

This "believe the right thing or go to hell" idea makes no sense at all if you think about it. If God is good, merciful and just, as Islam also says, will he not forgive an honest mistake? I probably have many wrong ideas about God, and I am quite sure me and God will have a good laugh about that on the last day. I am also quite sure that He will accept me for who I am and what I am, for the God I know is first and formost a loving one. Even if you, after careful thought, reach the conclusion that there is no God all, then what is there to fear? If you are right, then there is no hell anyway, and if you are wrong, so what, so you made a mistake. Humans do. God will get over it. If you father and mother can forgive you a simple, honest mistake, surely God can.

You ask "where is God"? If you ask that then you already know. He is all around you, inside you, and you can find him most clearly in any other human being.
Jesus: "Ask and you will receive." Mohammed: "Take and give me 20%"
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HollowScar
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Re: My reason for considering leaving. My mini Biography.

Post by HollowScar »

You guys are very helpful. The problem is that there are bad people on earth, and there are good. We all live in inequality, so therefore there must be some form of judgment. I know, that by not knowing I am making an innocent mistake, but what am I to do? Suppose for instance I am upper class rich guy (which I am not). Should I live my life with utter luxury, spending $2000 a night to stay in the Burj-al-Arab, use $19,000 to a first class seat on the largest plane (A380) filled with the utmost luxury? These are questions I have. I know I sound really frantic, but how should I shape my morality now, when my crutch of all these years are gone?
"Do you remember what you told me once? That every passing minute is a another chance to turn it all around" - Vanilla Sky
"If I could just go back... if I could rub everything out... starting with myself" - The Talented Mr. Ripley
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manfred
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Re: My reason for considering leaving. My mini Biography.

Post by manfred »

I know I sound really frantic, but how should I shape my morality now, when my crutch of all these years are gone?
You never had a crutch at all, that is just an illusion. Whatever your religion, your choices are still your responsibility. Often your so called crutch was no more that yet another attempt by others to control you. So that is definitely one idea to throw out. No crutches needed, walk on your own two feet.
The Hebrew slaves in Egypt did not worry about making decisions, all these where made fore them. Only when they started on their journey to freedom, did they need a bit of guidance. They did not need controlling, just a bit of support.
Their initial guidance came in the form of 10 simple, extremely easy to understand rules, the ones we know today as the “ten commandments”.
These can be made even shorter and easier: “Treat others as you want to be treated”. This simple rule is almost universally accepted as an excellent guideline amongst religions, and amongst those who profess none. Note that I did not say “treat others as they treat you” I said “treat others as you want to be treated.” Don’t make others an excuse for yourself.
Why are you afraid of your own judgement? Why is your judgement any worse than anybody else’s? Use your conscience; if you have doubts, you can always ask someone you trust.

You also want to know about money…

Let me answer that more generally. You have many talents and gifts. You are clever, you are not poor and you are brave enough to be independent. Imagine each of these talents you have is like a coin. You can bury a coin in the garden. You can put them in the bank to earn interest. You can invest it in a business.

Which approach will bring the most profit? Don’t hide your talents, nor be cautious with them. Use them to their full potential. In particular make sure others benefit from the many things you have to offer. All your talents exist for a reason; that reason usually involves the people around you.
Jesus: "Ask and you will receive." Mohammed: "Take and give me 20%"
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charleslemartel
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Re: My reason for considering leaving. My mini Biography.

Post by charleslemartel »

HollowScar wrote:You guys are very helpful. The problem is that there are bad people on earth, and there are good. We all live in inequality, so therefore there must be some form of judgment. I know, that by not knowing I am making an innocent mistake, but what am I to do? Suppose for instance I am upper class rich guy (which I am not). Should I live my life with utter luxury, spending $2000 a night to stay in the Burj-al-Arab, use $19,000 to a first class seat on the largest plane (A380) filled with the utmost luxury? These are questions I have. I know I sound really frantic, but how should I shape my morality now, when my crutch of all these years are gone?
As manfred suggested, studying Buddhism would be a good start for you.

Among the modern day pundits, you can read J Krishnamurti, Anthony De Mello and Osho Rajneesh.
Islam is a funny religion which is misunderstood by its scholars and correctly understood by ordinary Muslims.
Faith is keeping your eyes shut when looking at the world, and/or keeping your eyes open only for the beauty of the world.
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HollowScar
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Re: My reason for considering leaving. My mini Biography.

Post by HollowScar »

Thank you guys. It helps, but life is a mystery. We do die one day. It is the fear of the afterlife that concerns me. I may think I am doing good, but maybe there are much better things i can do. From time to time, I have to lie. My biggest weakness is lust, and I cannot help that. In today's life, I see people just live for this life. To them this life is everything, and they drink, and indulge themselves as if it were a right. Islam has taught me the opposite. Note that I used the be the only religious one in the family, so I am not rebellious like many teenagers are who hate their parents. My parents were the ones that would drink occasionally, and would swear and backbite against other people, which I did not agree with. I would go do my Friday prayers, and even donate money. They say that you are lucky to be born a muslim, but I never felt that. This earth in itself is a very bad place, for a person like me who hopes for a fairy tale. I know that this is my responsibility to find the truth, but like a child I am lost. I am quite ambivalent, and so I do contradict myself. It is easy to follow what I think is right, but how do I know if it is the truth? I can't help but feel like I am in a trap, and that my afterlife will cost me, for leaving a path, that I was raised in. Yes, I fear a lot, but my fear is justified, as this is an ugly world, and my only escape was Heaven which I used to believe in, but now cannot find it from within.
"Do you remember what you told me once? That every passing minute is a another chance to turn it all around" - Vanilla Sky
"If I could just go back... if I could rub everything out... starting with myself" - The Talented Mr. Ripley
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