Disillusioned and done with this cult

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closet_apostate
Posts: 3
Joined: Wed Aug 19, 2009 5:20 am

Disillusioned and done with this cult

Post by closet_apostate »

Like many of you, I was born into a Muslim, yet fairly secular, family in the Middle East. Ever since I was a child, I had Islam shoved down my throat, and yet I couldn't bring myself to believe some of the fairy tales that underpinned the very foundation of Islam. Nevertheless, through an Orwellian process of doublethought, I managed to dispel any "impure thoughts" from my mind. In fact, I got to the point where I was actually practicing...I was depressed and had nothing else to turn to. Besides, one of my then-pious friends (now probably a coke head) was pressuring me to...submit.

A while later, I got bored of all the nonsense and my faith went into remission. During that period, I actively defended the charges that Islam is an inherently violent religion by citing Christianity's bloody history and blaming Imperialism for the Arab's woes...and I had myself convinced.

Nonetheless, the stories of Islamic backwardness and outright barbarism from Arab countries deeply shook my already teetering faith. However, my defense mechanism still managed to keep me in check - after all, Americans and Israelis are overtly committing warcrimes against Muslims elsewhere...

The break point was just yesterday when I was researching an article for a my university newspaper (I study and work in a western country now). It had nothing to do with the Koran, Muhammad, Christianity or Western influence. It was, quite simply the character of Muslims...people I've always considered benevolent and altruistic...I saw videos that sickened me; videos of ordinary people viciously smearing a very prominent intellectual who dared question the Political Islam movement; clerics sending death threats to his family, people calling him on talk shows, spewing the most venomous (and ALWAYS unfounded) charges against him and his family; accusing him of apostasy, grand treason, and fraud, even though they admit they wouldn't "touch this secularist trash"; imams and Islamic so-called thinkers condemning him to the dustbin of history; and ordinary people like you and me commenting on a Youtube video of his daughter defending him, calling her a whore and such...They were targets of a vicious witch hunt by this mafia of Thought Terrorists...people who were so offended by his writings that they threatened to take away the life of his wife and children.

There is a political angle to all this, but the reality wasn't lost on me...what a bunch of hypocrites. These are the preachers and faithful followers of understanding and tolerant religion of Islam. Yet they are ignorant, savage people who have no respect for diversity and personal opinion of others...and then it hit me...this IS Islam, isn't it? It's a means for the poor and the desperate to indulge in spiritual baloney in order to escape their tough lives; a religion of backwardness, contempt for women, violence, intolerance, savagery, absurd fairy tales, and complete and utter anti-intellectualism...

This isn't the religion for me. I still respect certain aspects of Islam, but I loathe institutional Islam. It is a platform for hatred and evil. I will NEVER willingly step into a mosque again in my life. Yet, it remains that Islam is a part of my identity...for how long, I am not sure. I should note that no one knows of this, and I will have a very hard time divulging my apostasy to my family.
closet_apostate
Posts: 3
Joined: Wed Aug 19, 2009 5:20 am

Re: Disillusioned and done with this cult

Post by closet_apostate »

I'd like to add that it shocks and sickens me that MANY of the Muslims I talk to today, to say nothing of the nutcases on TV or in the mosques, think that the reason the Islamic world, with the rarely mentioned example of Turkey, is backward is because 'we' Muslims are losing our faith due to Western influences. Can you believe this baloney? They say this nonsense on the internet as well, one of the greatest Western inventions of the last century...

Ok, I'm done ranting :D
planck
Posts: 4150
Joined: Thu Jan 01, 2009 12:16 pm
Location: Retired from FFI

Re: Disillusioned and done with this cult

Post by planck »

hello and welcome to the forum closet.

just curious though. Which intellectual critic were you referring to here:
videos of ordinary people viciously smearing a very prominent intellectual who dared question the Political Islam movement; clerics sending death threats to his family, people calling him on talk shows, spewing the most venomous (and ALWAYS unfounded) charges against him and his family; accusing him of apostasy, grand treason, and fraud, even though they admit they wouldn't "touch this secularist trash"
Again, welcome to the forum and good luck.
Upward and onward in the fight against Islamic tyranny
closet_apostate
Posts: 3
Joined: Wed Aug 19, 2009 5:20 am

Re: Disillusioned and done with this cult

Post by closet_apostate »

Hi planck.

That would be a Mr. Sayyid al Qimni, an Egyptian historian and very respected intellectual who recently won a prestigious state prize. Muslim groups have since mobilized, using UTTER LIES, to smear him. How despicable. The oft used slurs against him: nasary (christian - non muslim), kafir, hashash (a hashish abuser - and this comes from the imams, who wouldn't know what the chemical symbol for oxygen is), fasid (corrupt), maghrour (selfish), etc..

There are plenty of videos on YouTube of him debating imams and defending his position. They're all in Arabic, but here's one I found with English subtitles (to those of you who don't speak Arabic):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9QD2jaUQIjM" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false; (PLEASE watch this)

Other sick videos:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vzH35iY6 ... re=related" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O0cRmJKZ ... re=related" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false; (Mr. Qimni threatened by a terrorist to take the shihada)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WF7Uh0wm ... re=related" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
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expozIslam
Posts: 3114
Joined: Sun Feb 01, 2009 10:32 pm

Re: Disillusioned and done with this cult

Post by expozIslam »

Welcome to FFI closet_apostate,
There are loonies in all religions and belief systems who would want to silence the reformers or those with a different opinion but the problem with islam is that the majority either wilfully or out of fear chooses to side with the extermists by remaining mute spectators to such blatant violations of human rights. The result is lack of civil society and a society which is still stuck in 7th century in which disputes are resolved by swords rather than by words.
“The truth, of course, is that a billion falsehoods told a billion times by a billion people are still false.”
planck
Posts: 4150
Joined: Thu Jan 01, 2009 12:16 pm
Location: Retired from FFI

Re: Disillusioned and done with this cult

Post by planck »

closet_apostate wrote:Hi planck.

That would be a Mr. Sayyid al Qimni, an Egyptian historian and very respected intellectual who recently won a prestigious state prize. Muslim groups have since mobilized, using UTTER LIES, to smear him. How despicable. The oft used slurs against him: nasary (christian - non muslim), kafir, hashash (a hashish abuser - and this comes from the imams, who wouldn't know what the chemical symbol for oxygen is), fasid (corrupt), maghrour (selfish), etc.
Ah, yes. I'm familiar with him. I first saw him on that memri clip where he was debating that islamist from london. I'll never forget when he started talking about how the british serve "turkey" on their christmas table. That was too funny.

But I do have a question about this particular clip though. Is this man demonstrating how to massage and clean a man. I didn't get this.


It sounds like you've got a fascinating story. I especially took notice of what you wrote:
Nonetheless, the stories of Islamic backwardness and outright barbarism from Arab countries deeply shook my already teetering faith. However, my defense mechanism still managed to keep me in check
I don't understand why muslims have such an aversion to introspective analysis. You'd think by now, they would take this opportunity to realize that things just aren't working. It's as if the rest of the world is zooming by in the new chevy volt, and muslim societies are barely galumphing along in their pobedas. I mean, it's not as if muslims are inherently dumb or incapable of creating dynamic and productive societies. But I do realize that saving face is an extremely important concept in middle eastern societies, so any admission of failure at this point would be......?

And I do hope your family understands the legitimate and sincere reasons for your takfir.
Upward and onward in the fight against Islamic tyranny
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enceladus
Posts: 2069
Joined: Thu Jan 01, 2009 11:00 pm

Re: Disillusioned and done with this cult

Post by enceladus »

closet_apostate wrote: (snip)
The break point was just yesterday when I was researching an article for a my university newspaper (I study and work in a western country now). It had nothing to do with the Koran, Muhammad, Christianity or Western influence. It was, quite simply the character of Muslims...people I've always considered benevolent and altruistic...I saw videos that sickened me; videos of ordinary people viciously smearing a very prominent intellectual who dared question the Political Islam movement; clerics sending death threats to his family, people calling him on talk shows, spewing the most venomous (and ALWAYS unfounded) charges against him and his family; accusing him of apostasy, grand treason, and fraud, even though they admit they wouldn't "touch this secularist trash"; imams and Islamic so-called thinkers condemning him to the dustbin of history; and ordinary people like you and me commenting on a Youtube video of his daughter defending him, calling her a whore and such...They were targets of a vicious witch hunt by this mafia of Thought Terrorists...people who were so offended by his writings that they threatened to take away the life of his wife and children.

There is a political angle to all this, but the reality wasn't lost on me...what a bunch of hypocrites. These are the preachers and faithful followers of understanding and tolerant religion of Islam. Yet they are ignorant, savage people who have no respect for diversity and personal opinion of others...and then it hit me...this IS Islam, isn't it? It's a means for the poor and the desperate to indulge in spiritual baloney in order to escape their tough lives; a religion of backwardness, contempt for women, violence, intolerance, savagery, absurd fairy tales, and complete and utter anti-intellectualism...

This isn't the religion for me. I still respect certain aspects of Islam, but I loathe institutional Islam. It is a platform for hatred and evil. I will NEVER willingly step into a mosque again in my life. Yet, it remains that Islam is a part of my identity...for how long, I am not sure. I should note that no one knows of this, and I will have a very hard time divulging my apostasy to my family.


Welcome, closet_apostate! Great to have you here! :)
Yes, I imagine that you might "feel Muslim" for a while yet, however I'm sure that that will pass. I seem to recall someone here on the forum saying that knowledge (or enlightenment!) is a "one way street" - in other words, once you've found what the truth really is, it is impossible to then "go back" to ignorance.
Sounds true to me.... ;)

Regarding your family - it'd be a good idea to be careful there. Are they devout Muslims, or fairly moderate? Anyway, there is definitely no rush at all to tell them. Do you live with them, or elsewhere?
If you're living away from them, that'd certainly make it easier to not let them know.

Very best wishes! Looking forward to seeing more of your posts! Bye for now -
- enceladus
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