Feel like I'm being left to Work it out on my own

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Icur2wyz4m3
Posts: 62
Joined: Mon Mar 30, 2009 6:41 am

Feel like I'm being left to Work it out on my own

Post by Icur2wyz4m3 »

To give an introduction,
I'm formerly known on here as escapingthepain, but now am the above username. Been in a bad marriage to a psycho muslim man and have been separated for a year.
My current problem is:
(a) the restraining order runs out - the police told me not to get a renewal of it
I am afraid because I view it as my only legal protection - if he does manage to somehow find me, what will be to stop him (legally) from coming near me and beating the crap out of me???
(b) the lawyer I spoke to to get legal advice advised me not to get a divorce because it will just inflame the whole situation - problem for me is that I do not want to remain this man's wife, I want to cut all ties to him. However I won't do that because I regard my safety and my children's safety to be of more importance than the feeling of no longer "being his wife" and all of the worries that go along with it.
(c) I am somehow getting some of his mail, don't ask me how, I have contacted the agencies, but I am still getting some of his mail and it frustrates me to no end, the angencies involved have said that they don't know how this has happened but have done nothing to solve the problem.
(d) Having been a muslim and involved with such horrible stuff that he exposed me to and put me through, I am now having to deal with the fact that it haunts me every day - I have to live with the memories that ex put me through, I find it hard to sleep and I'm don't want to be a bloody single mother!!! I did not sign up for this when I converted to Islam or when I married ex
(e) I have applied for a change of name, however I cannot get a legal change of name for my children without a court order because of the kid's father (I know that he would never agree to it), and to get a court order to get the kids names changed is very, very, very difficult to do.

I hope none of this information isn't identifying in any way, but hey, I need some advice from you others who may or may not have any ideas as to how to go about fixing these problems of mine... and perhaps give me some support
Last edited by Icur2wyz4m3 on Sat Aug 08, 2009 2:46 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Ariel
Posts: 7731
Joined: Thu Jan 01, 2009 1:34 am
Location: The Netherlands

Re: Feel like I'm being left to Work it out on my own

Post by Ariel »

I am sorry to hear this Icur2wyz4m3
I know what you went through, and I had hoped you had started a better life by now.
Let your life lesson be a lesson to all girls who fall in love with a Muslim and with Islam.

How strange the law is not at your side but on the side of your husband. I wish I could do something for you, but I am afraid I can do nothing more then give a listening ear.

Keep strong girl, and fight. Try to get advise of an other lawyer, about the restraining order and the divorce, because I can’t see why you should not get a divorce .

Try to move to an other part of your country so that he can not find you and the kids.

I wish you all the best my dear, and perhaps your parents can protect you from this animal. Think about it.
The heart of the wise inclines to the right,
but the heart of the fool to the left.
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expozIslam
Posts: 3114
Joined: Sun Feb 01, 2009 10:32 pm

Re: Feel like I'm being left to Work it out on my own

Post by expozIslam »

Icur2wyz4m3 wrote:To give an introduction,
I'm formerly known on here as escapingthepain, but now am the above username. Been in a bad marriage to a psycho muslim man and have been separated for a year.
My current problem is:
(a) the restraining order runs out this week - I wanted to renew it, but the police advised me that if I do so it will put me and my children at further risk of being found by ex & his loonies - they told me not to get a renewal of it
I am afraid because I view it as my only legal protection - if he does manage to somehow find me, what will be to stop him (legally) from coming near me and beating the crap out of me???
Even a restraining order cannot prevent him from doing that if he is really going to go that far. If he does come and beat you, you will surely get judges on your side when you file for divorce.
Icur2wyz4m3 wrote: (b) the lawyer I spoke to to get legal advice advised me not to get a divorce because it will just inflame the whole situation - problem for me is that I do not want to remain this man's wife, I want to cut all ties to him. However I won't do that because I regard my safety and my children's safety to be of more importance than the feeling of no longer "being his wife" and all of the worries that go along with it.
Of course it will inflame the situation but the earlier you do it, the better for both of you. Relax yourself first. Don't let day to day things frustrate you. You don't live twice. Plan how you can get rid of this marriage with very close friends of yours and if you can, move to a place where he cannot come that easily and take accomodation in areas which are crowded. He cannot do much in front of crowd. Can he? unless you are living in an islamic society.
Icur2wyz4m3 wrote: (c) I am somehow getting some of his mail, don't ask me how, I have contacted the agencies, but I am still getting some of his mail and it frustrates me to no end, the angencies involved have said that they don't know how this has happened but have done nothing to solve the problem.
Create a fake email id and bust his muslim ego with articles trashing the islam. If not this site, you can use Islam-watch. if you really want to frustrate him further, send him an email copy of "understanding mohammad" and similar books. It is minor cost to pay for crushing his muslim male ego. As usual, use ip obfuscation techniques and fake email id to do this dirty job. Let him get busy with taking care of his faith first. tease him with his Allah doll. Be the hunter and not the hunted. Muslim men are actually cowards who use the peer pressure than their own guts to get things done.
Icur2wyz4m3 wrote: (d) Having been a muslim and involved with such horrible stuff that he exposed me to and put me through, I am now having to deal with the fact that it haunts me every day - I have to live with the memories that ex put me through, I find it hard to sleep and I'm don't want to be a bloody single mother!!! I did not sign up for this when I converted to Islam or when I married ex
You cannot change what happened to you but you can change what you do next and you can prevent the same from happening to countless other women. If you save even one girl from being trapped in islamic hell, it will soothe your feelings lot more the the pain that you feel everyday.
Icur2wyz4m3 wrote: (e) I have applied for a change of name, however I cannot get a legal change of name for my children without a court order because of the kid's father (I know that he would never agree to it), and to get a court order to get the kids names changed is very, very, very difficult to do.
treat your kids well and take good care of them so that they understand why you are doing things that you are doing and that those things are for the good of them.
Icur2wyz4m3 wrote: I hope none of this information isn't identifying in any way, but hey, I need some advice from you others who may or may not have any ideas as to how to go about fixing these problems of mine... and perhaps give me some support
i think you are fine with this much info but you can use obfuscation techniques like fictinalizing the story a bit to avoid being figured out. Remove some incidents, add fictional incidents and you should be fine. e.g if you have two kids, say you have 4, if you got married 3 years back, say you got married 6 years back and things like that.

Good luck and keep yourself safe. You learnt your lesson the hard way but you can help save the others.
“The truth, of course, is that a billion falsehoods told a billion times by a billion people are still false.”
Icur2wyz4m3
Posts: 62
Joined: Mon Mar 30, 2009 6:41 am

Re: Feel like I'm being left to Work it out on my own

Post by Icur2wyz4m3 »

Thanks for your advice and listening ears Ariel and ExpozIslam. It is nice to know that there are people out there who will listen and try to help.
Have made an appointment with a lawyer yet again.
Hopefully I can do something this time to increase our protection.
capner
Posts: 127
Joined: Tue Jan 06, 2009 9:02 pm

Re: Feel like I'm being left to Work it out on my own

Post by capner »

Learnt? Learnt? Why the hell is it so hard to keyboard...."learned"......good, proper, english.
Learnt........just say that word out loud and listen to yourself. :tongueout:
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