First I would like to thank those of you who are taking the time to read my story. This is about my short journey with Islam and why I left, never to look back. I do not intend on offending anybody, but I am trying to warn future converts about Islam.
As a young, naive college student, I met a muslim arab guy. We began dating and he promised me a lifetime of happiness and love. Luckily I did not give him my life, but the in the time I did give him, I learned a lot about the muslim community. Soon after we started dating he began commending me on my innocence of being a virgin and he explained that he could never marry a non-virgin, mind you that he had many sexual partners and was far from a practicing muslim. I should have taken this as a sign of his character. Anyways, soon he explained that he could not marry me because I was not one of the three religions of the book (christian, jewish, muslim). I was so broken. I was not going to change religions for him but at the time I was going through times of disbelief of my own religion. I looked into other religions and made a muslim friend at my university. After studying the religion for about two months, I decided to convert. The guy I was dating did not try to persuade me, but he was happy to hear about my decision.
This is where I want all of the 'future converts' to really listen. When i told my friend I wanted to convert, she became more than excited and began to take me under her wing. She could not wait to take me to the mosque and she told me we are now sisters. She introduced me to a ton of people who were congratulating me and teaching me how to pray and make wudu, etc. The night I converted everyone was SO nice to me. All of the ladies hugged and kissed me and told me that I am now their family. It was a beautiful night for me, but I did not now what I was getting into. My family is very strict and did not know I converted. They all assured me that it doesn't matter because I did the right thing for Allah.
As soon as I converted, the first thing my boyfriend told me was, 'so u are going to start wearing a hijab (head scarf) now, right??' I was astonished that someone so non-religous was putting such demands on a new convert. Even the girl from my university that took me to convert told me that real muslim girls cover their head, but she was understanding that my parents did not know so I could not do that. Then all of the 'friends' I met at the mosque began judging my actions. If I was seen talking to a boy or even out at the movies at night, they all told me I could not do that anymore. They all told me to wear a hijab, even though they knew that my parents did not know I converted. They said to just put it on after I left home. At first they tried to tell me in a joking way, then they starting bad-mouthing me to other people. They all either gave me dirty looks or tried to convince me that I was not living a moral-life. The arab guy I was dating started lying and cheating on me.
I felt like a prisoner. I truly felt like I lost my freedom and I was SO envious of the non-muslim girls, who could live a comfortable carefree life. The muslim guys drank, smoked, dated multiple girls, and lived a very liberal lifestyle. They received no repercussions. After months and months of constantly feeling guilty and isolated, I decided that God does not want people to be miserable. Most of the muslim girls I know are truly miserable. I did not want to waste my life wishing that I was 'free' again. The day I realized this, I ran to paint my nails again, something I had not done since converting to Islam because it breaks wudu and invalidates your prayer. I felt SO free. It was the best day of my life. It was when I began to be myself again. I stopped dating that guy. This was about 3 years ago. I am now in a very healthy relationship with a non-muslim (thank God) and I could not be happier.
I highly warn future converts to try to live a muslim lifestyle for a month before converting. If you like this lifestyle, then you know what to do, but if not, don't make yourself miserable. DO NOT listen to muslims when they try to convince you to convert. They are trying to convince you for their own selfish purposes and will often tell lies to lure you into Islam. After studying the religion from a non-biased standpoint, I believe Muhammad had Temporal Lobe Epilepsy. Many things in the Quran can be proven incorrect through modern science. The religion is against music, television, photography of living things, playing chess, and much much more. I personally feel that these beliefs are not valid and make no sense. My story is very mild compared to what some other converts went through. I am just thankful that I did not marry the guy I was dating.
I hope that my story can prevent someone else from going through what I did. Best wishes and God bless. <3
Thank you ftt! You may have helped many woman to avoid the same mistakes you have made.
One of the many problems with islam is that it came from the 7th century arab culture. Instead of building something new & better islam tries to force all cultures & people into the mold of the barbaric, savage society that it came from.
" The fact that in Mohammedan law every woman must belong to some man as his absolute property - either as a child, a wife, or a concubine - must delay the final extinction of slavery until the faith of Islam has ceased to be a great power among men."
Thanks for the comments guys! I almost forgot about this post. As time goes by I consider that point of my life a dark one that I almost want to forget. I'm in a healthy relationship now (with a non-muslim) and spiritually I'm in a better place. Islam is not about the divine or a healthy lifestyle. It's a religion of brainwashing and hatred for outsiders.
Seriously though...to anyone that is considering converting, read the quran yourself and make your own judgements. Don't listen to muslims telling you about how great their religion is, of course they are going to say that. It's not a step in spiritual growth, it's a step in deprivation and misery.