Advice for young apostates : Please contribute

[yeezevee]

That is what I am working on Financial Independence. I have a form of handicapped and it makes it hard to get a job with insurance willing to pay for my doctors. I am going to school and working on getting a better more free life, but the whole double life thing is harder than it seems.

you may bit handicapped but NOT that bad dear fusedbird ., you can type and you have perfect English., True Insurance and doctors indeed a problem in America.. But watch Nick Vujicic

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H8ZuKF3dxCY
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_uG6A0IOFvo&feature=fvw
Also watch Bethany Hamilton that you see in the above video with Nick http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ShzrA0Itw8M

You know the problem with people like Nick was a medicine .. thaldomide http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thalidomide
watch these kids http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-G7UKLczVaU

and please read stories at http://www.faithfreedom.org/inspiring

My dad is not a strict muslim and I have a feeling he feels the same way I do about islam but has been living a lie way longer than I have and is proably more scared than I am.

See that you already realized that. He just needs bit help., Not only he ..Millions of Muslims need that help..

However how do I open up to him without revealing myself in the process? The rest of his family is strict and crazy

Well you & your Dad & that good man you are in love with are more important than any one else .. any family filled with Nuts., So hang on and work hard to fulfill your goals, I am sure you will reach .. you are a string person..

with best wishes
yeezevee

[tara]

I havn't told any of my family members about my apostacy. It would just hurt them. they know I don't wear hijab and i dont pray all the time (i pretend to pray when they are around).. I dont feel like theres a need to hurt them.

[yeezevee]

I havn't told any of my family members about my apostacy. It would just hurt them. they know I don't wear hijab and i dont pray all the time (i pretend to pray when they are around).. I dont feel like theres a need to hurt them.

One need not act like Salaman Rusdie and it is impossible to all to be like that guy dear tara

So you pretend ..lol..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fLCtoNCQZ20

there is absolutely nothing wrong in it....

with best wishes
yeezevee

[expozIslam]

I havn't told any of my family members about my apostacy. It would just hurt them. they know I don't wear hijab and i dont pray all the time (i pretend to pray when they are around).. I dont feel like theres a need to hurt them.

Please don't until you are socially and financially independent. You never know how muslims will react because loving dads have willingly killed their kids who apostated. More than they feelling hurt, I think you should be careful about you not getting hurt.

On a larger issue, it is not your fault if people get hurt just because you do not follow their religious beliefs or for that matter any other belief. The issue is with those people and not you. So, stop feeling guilty.

[tara]

On a larger issue, it is not your fault if people get hurt just because you do not follow their religious beliefs or for that matter any other belief. The issue is with those people and not you. So, stop feeling guilty.

Yes I know it's not my fault that they are getting hurt but I cant stop loving my parents and I can't hurt them. I want them to keep thinking i'll go to "paradise" and not to eternal Hell. My parents wont be able to sleep at night if they think i'll go to hell forever. I don't care for the rest of the muslims around me but my parents mean alot to me. their happiness comes before mine.

[xtr00]

Another good advice :
Repent and return to your Lord, who is the Most Forgiving..

[Wootah]

Another good advice :
Repent and return to your Lord, who is the Most Forgiving..

I laughed. Good joke.

[xtr00]

Another good advice :
Repent and return to your Lord, who is the Most Forgiving..

I laughed. Good joke.

, your one is not bad aswell..

[HollowScar]

When you leave Islam, think about it. Don't just leave because you are a rebel, or your parent's force you too much, or you cannot agree with hijab, and such. Rather go and research, and find out the flaws with an open mind. Then can you debate with others and come out of it as presentable, rather than look like a hack.

[K1ki]

Hello
This is special for ex muslim. I want to ask :
1. Why do you leave Islam?

Islam is a peaceful religion. It teachs us kindness. So, that's no reason for you to leave Islam. God is fair. If you have a problem just try to solve it & always pray to God

[Wootah]

Hello
This is special for ex muslim. I want to ask :
1. Why do you leave Islam?

Islam is a peaceful religion. It teachs us kindness. So, that's no reason for you to leave Islam. God is fair. If you have a problem just try to solve it & always pray to God

Hi K1ki, welcome to FFI. There are many threads that will need your wisdom.

[Eliphaz]

Apostate for 6 months now thank the universe.

My advice RE: the guilt factor is to basically reason with yourself. If you base everything on reason, which, even as a religionist, you would believe God has given you, you can't go wrong. One of my favourite books is "The Age of Reason" by Paine. Another would be "Leaving Islam" by Ibn Warraq but obviously that could be difficult to leave lying around the house if your family is Muslim!

But read testimonies by other apostates as much as you can, this site may be difficult to get on for you in your country but there are others as well. Realise that God has given you a brain, and that if something doesn't seem right, then you should be able to figure it out for yourself, as God gave you that ability. It should not be some old man with a long beard from your home country who needs to "explain" it all to you. What is a so-calld religion from God but a manmade invention that needs to be explained and clarified every few pages?

And take it one day at a time. Don't be too hard on yourself, try not to get too depressed. Take exercise, do things which are netural to both Muslims and non-Muslims to avoid feeling you are either angering God or lying to yourself. Things like reading, travelling, and give your mind time to adjust, it can't happen overnight.

And don't publicise it too much. Tell only those you trust. If you trust no one in the real world then tell people online. Speak to a (edit: non-Muslim) counsellor in confidence. Don't be paranoid unless you live in a Muslim country - I cannot really speak for this but I imagine that is a whole different kettle of fish...

[expozIslam]

Speak to a counsellor in confidence.

Not until you can ascertain that that counsellor is not a muslim and someone who will reveal your identity to other muslims.

Don't be paranoid

I would be paranoid and therefore keep things to myself and share it on fora's like this alone. It is safer and you can let yourself loose.

[Eliphaz]

Speak to a counsellor in confidence.

Not until you can ascertain that that counsellor is not a muslim and someone who will reveal your identity to other muslims.

Of course. You see, where I live, there are less than 2% Muslims so I guess I am speaking based on my own experiences which may or may not be applicable to others. When I say counsellor, I don't mean imam, sheikh, cleric, or any Muslim community worker (post edited). All I know is speaking to a counsellor definitely helped me to leave Islam. She was unbiased, non-judgemental, and there was an agreement of confidentiality (which again, is something you need to ascertain).

Don't be paranoid

I would be paranoid and therefore keep things to myself and share it on fora's like this alone. It is safer and you can let yourself loose.

What I feel is that this is even more subjective than anything else. If you are in a Muslim country, my guess is that one should be extremely paranoid. But if you are in a non-Muslim country, I would say be vigilant to paranoid depending on your circumstances. There is no point making yourself ill unless you feel your life actually could be at risk.

[Yahya Snow]

If you are an ex-musalmah, burn the hijab and let your hair down. Feel the wind in your hair and consider yourself a butterfly breaking free from the crysilis of oppression.
There is nothing worse then subjucation of female muslims to the veil in order to tame the male ones. Maybe Islam should have imposed blinders for Muslim males instead.

Burn your hijab...are you serious my friend?

Doyou want them to pick up a mini skirt too?

The hijab is simply a symbol of piety and was worn by Mary the mother of Jesus (pbut)....thus these Muslimahs are in good company

Peace

[charleslemartel]

Burn your hijab...are you serious my friend?

Doyou want them to pick up a mini skirt too?

No, I want them to drop their mini skirts too. LOL.

Of course, that was meant to be only a joke. I hope you stay for sometime this time.

[Vesta]

I'm living in an Islamic country.My advice to those who live in Islamic countries:don't trust anyone.If you trust some one it can easily led to disaster.Your best friend can easily betray you in an emotional moment.

[Sameer]

by K1ki »
This is special for ex muslim. I want to ask :
1. Why do you leave Islam?
Islam is a peaceful religion. It teachs us kindness. So, that's no reason for you to leave Islam. God is fair. If you have a problem just try to solve it & always pray to God

What a joke.... You tell me what means Peace ?

y Vesta »
My advice to those who live in Islamic countries:don't trust anyone.If you trust some one it can easily led to disaster.Your best friend can easily betray you in an emotional moment.

That's absolutely right....A little correction....That best friend is a religious person.

My advice for the apostates will be............Dont talk about religion to your religious friends.Dont tell them that you have left Islam. For those who live in Islamic countries ...Dont tell anyone that you have left Islam...

[wakeup]

Thank you all for posting interesting and enlightening thoughts.
Thank you Expoz for writing this thread and asking;

a) how to overcome guilt factor?
b) how to ensure safety online and offline?
c) how to overcome the feeling of having to loose your loved ones?


a) how to overcome guilt factor?

That is very good question. First of all there is no guilt in reality. It is not we are abandoning a culture or life. It is simple abandoning a drowning ship, a dark faith, a theory of life that is absurd and does not work in any time frame, that is it did not work many generations before and it will not work in future. So I do not think one should feel guilty. It is in fact a powerful realization that we can come out of punky mud like the analogy given in Buddhism of Lotus that one can be born in mud yet can blossom like a flower.
The guilt is felt when we do a sinful act that which is not permitted by our conscious. Here it is actually mitigating the guilt or removing the guilt because we are getting out of guilt and becoming normal. The guilt what one feels is that we can teach what we learned. This exciting discovery of abandoning a dark cave like atmosphere is so much light that one feels sad that why can not we explain this to other people who follow this sinful faith.


b) how to ensure safety online and offline?

Offline never talk anything against ANY ONE RELIGION. We do not need. It is merely the sinful and incorrect teachings that are to be rejected and we do not need to show off our knowledge. The best is to act secularly and never talk of any religion. Online safety is important. If you live in native area and you talk among a set group of people it will be leaked somehow. So never use your real identity and do not show off that you are a kaffir or you are hateful of any religions etc. Ideal is to form a new identity guarded by using some anonymous email address and never give your real address, phone or names. It wont make sense any way because internet is not safe.
Offline as I said one can not even discuss these issues unless it is a hundred percent sure group of similar idea people.

c) how to overcome the feeling of having to loose your loved ones?

One can never loose any loved ones really. I however will suggest to have minimum relation with someone incorrigible. I have noticed that more religious a person is usually either he/she is hiding something or there is some sinful action being hidden somewhere in closet.
Best is to keep your life similar but clearly tell a few key people that you do not agree with some ideas and you do not want to participate in religious affairs.
Ideal is to find a way to emigrate to a different city or even far off a different state or country.
If living in closer proximity best is not to show off anyone any changes.

Perhaps Islam is the only fold that actually persecutes you because there is so much insecurity and stupidity.
So to protect one's family best is not to disclose it to any loved one and keep it private.

[drhoney75]

I wrote on that site a few years ago...
but I want to mend a mistake made out of anger...
Islam like all the other religions convey the same philosophy at it's essence: we are all the same; GOD IS THE ONE! Any religious explanations trying to contradict this is extremist and leading people to unhappines and hostility...
so I redeem what I wrote here before...I'm in Islamic Sufi...and it leads to peace like all other true religions...Radicalism and seperations are human-made!