I'd like to thank you ahead of time for reading this, and thank you again for any input.
Let me start off by giving you a background about myself.
I'm a 24 year old Syrian, and I was born into a Muslim family in United States. My family is amazing, and I love every one of them, even the extended members. Two years after I was born my parents decided to move overseas so their children can get the best Arabic and Islam education. We lived there for about 9 years, and then returned to the United States. Because of my Islamic knowledge, and parental guidance I became very religious, and I staid on that path for the majority of my life.
As I grew older I started to think more about religion and the meaning of life. I started to question everything I believed in and slowly stopped practicing Islam as it should be practiced. I stopped praying five times a day, I started listening to music, and I started to think maybe its time I started to flirt back with girls instead of completely avoiding them.
At this point in my life I no longer believe in god, and I don't know where to go from here.
I can't keep pretending that I'm a Muslim in front of my family. But I can never tell them the truth, it would cause too much stress on everyone and I won't be the cause of it.
I've contemplated moving out, and moving on with my life.
I'm seriously contemplating changing my name to a non religious one.
I want to just live my life without the shackles of religion.
I don't want to hurt my family, but any path I take toward true freedom from religion will hurt them.
Any advice is much appreciated.