A thread about nothing and everything

[Chiclets]

Take your pants off for God

MEN living on a tiny Fijian island have been ordered to wear a skirt instead of trousers on Sundays to avoid offending God.

The Methodist Church on Bua island has ruled that men must wear the traditional island sarong, called a sulu, on Sundays to learn to respect the significance of the holy day.

Families cannot travel on any motorised transport or do any form of work, including hanging out clothes to dry, until they get the message, Galoa Village headman Josefa Baleinasiga has told the Fiji Times newspaper.

"The ban is meant to bring good luck to the island as we respect the day of the Lord,'' he said.

"You can see that often misfortune befalls us because we don't respect His commandments that there be no work performed on Sunday except worship.''

He said that since the ruling was made, clothes lines on the island had become full on Saturdays and people had stopped travelling offshore in boats fixed with outboards.

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"But we make exceptions during emergencies for the sick so it's not a ban that hasn't been well thought out,'' Mr Baleinasiga told the newspaper.

But it hasn't been a hit with everyone.

A villager who wished not to be named said the ban was "too restrictive''.

"We can't understand how wearing a sulu vakataga on Sunday will help us forge closer relations with the divine,'' he said.

"At times too for the school children who come home for the weekend, the best time to return to their hostel in Labasa or Savusavu is on Sunday - so that is getting in the way.''

[FiercelyAmerican]

"The ban is meant to bring good luck to the island as we respect the day of the Lord,'' he said.

"You can see that often misfortune befalls us because we don't respect His commandments that there be no work performed on Sunday except worship.''

Finally, someone says what religion refrains from saying.
Believing in God not enough. Still need something to bring good luck. Cuz God is not instinctively nice. Or something else altogether...

"But we make exceptions during emergencies for the sick so it's not a ban that hasn't been well thought out,'' Mr Baleinasiga told the newspaper.

LOL it's not, not, NOT "well thought out." Lucky skirts for men. Can you run for election on that policy platform?

"We can't understand how wearing a sulu vakataga on Sunday will help us forge closer relations with the divine,'' he said.

I hope the sulu vakataga skirt guy tries to evangelize to other countries on how to get closer to god.
Much less harmful and more amusing than sword-point muslim evangelism.

[FiercelyAmerican]

popping up in unexpected places

nice boots

[Chiclets]

[ixolite]

I went through a McDonald’s drive thru and said “I can has cheeseburger?” There was a pause before I heard “Nom Nom Nom” on the other end. IMMD

I saw a mom screaming at her crying toddler to shut up at Target. The kid then screamed “HERPES” at the top of his lungs. IMMD.

http://itmademyday.com/

[ixolite]

A nurse was on duty in the Emergency Room when a young woman with purple hair styled into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety of tattoos, and wearing strange clothing, entered. It was quickly determined that the patient had acute appendicitis, so she was scheduled for immediate surgery. When she was completely disrobed on the operating table, the staff noticed that her pubic hair had been dyed green, and above it there was a tattoo that read 'Keep off the grass.' Once the surgery was completed, the surgeon wrote a short note on the patient's dressing, which said ' Sorry . . .had to mow the lawn.'
http://crazypeopleiveworkedwith.blogspot.com/

[ixolite]

[Chiclets]

[ixolite]

hilarious e-mail exchange
http://www.27bslash6.com/easter.html

[Ansar al-Zindiqi]

[Ansar al-Zindiqi]

ROFLMAO!

[Ibn Rushd]

The dog vid was cute.

[Ansar al-Zindiqi]

hilarious e-mail exchange
http://www.27bslash6.com/easter.html

"[w]hat I can only assume is a levitating rabbit about to drop an egg on Jesus."

There is a certain beauty in this isn't there?

[Ansar al-Zindiqi]

In the future you will all thank me for posting this friendly health and wellness article.

Source

Nose-dwelling leech species found

The leech has a single row of eight "enormous teeth"

A new species of leech, discovered by an international team of scientists, has a preference for living up noses.

Researchers say the leech can enter the body orifices of people and animals to attach itself to mucous membranes.

They have called the new blood-sucking species Tyrannobdella rex which means tyrant leech king.

The creature was first discovered in 2007 in Peru when a specimen was plucked from the nose of a girl who had been bathing in a river.

The creature lives in the remote parts of the Upper Amazon and has a "particularly unpleasant habit of infesting humans", the scientists say.

Studies also revealed that it had "a preference for living up noses". The research published their findings in the
.

Dr. Renzo Arauco-Brown, from the School of Medicine at the Universidad Peruana Cayetano Heredia in Lima, was the medical doctor who extracted the leech and preserved sent it a zoologist in the US.

“ Some ancestor of our T. rex may have been up that other T. rex's nose ”
Dr Mark Siddall American Museum of Natural History

The zoologist, from the American Museum of Natural History in New York, was quick to recognise it as a new species. He said it had some very unusual features, including just one single jaw, eight very large teeth and extremely small genitalia.

Dr Siddall then brought together a team of researchers who studied the leech's features and DNA.

Anna Phillips, a graduate student affiliated with the museum, led the study. She said: "We think that Tyrannobdella rex is most closely related to another leech that gets into the mouths of livestock in Mexico.

The leech was discovered when one was plucked from the nose of a young girl

"The leech could feed on aquatic mammals, from their noses and mouths for example, where they could stay for weeks at a time."

The DNA analysis also revealed "evolutionary relationships" between leeches that now inhabit distant regions. This suggested that a common ancestor of this group may have lived when the continents were pressed together into a single land mass or supercontinent called Pangaea.

Dr Siddall explained: "The earliest species in this family of leeches no doubt shared an environment with dinosaurs about 200 million years ago.

"Some ancestor of our T. rex may have been up that other T. rex's nose."

Although around 600 to 700 species leeches have been described, scientists believe there could be as many as 10,000 species throughout the world in marine, terrestrial and fresh water environments.

[Chiclets]

So Osama Bin Laden dies and he arrives in the afterlife where he is immediately confronted by George Washington. George bellows at him, "How dare you attack the nation that I helped create!' and proceeds to beat the living sh!t out of him. Thomas Jefferson then appears and thunders, "Maybe THIS will help you understand the Declaration of Independence!". Jefferson then pounds Bib Laden to the ground. Patrick Henry then materializes, grabs Bin Laden by the hair, and screams, "You don't seem to understand the meaning of 'Give me liberty, or give me death!'". Henry then batters Bin Laden to a pulp.

At this point, Bin Laden cries out, "Oh, great and merciful Allah! I don't understand what is going on! Where are the 72 virgins I was promised?"

A voice then booms from above,"Virgins? That was a typo! What I promised was 72 Virginians!"

[Chiclets]

Nothing says I love you ......

Spoiler! :

[Chiclets]

An atheist buys an ancient lamp at an auction, takes it home, and begins to polish it. Suddenly, a genie appears, and says, “I’ll grant you three wishes, Master.” The atheist says, “I wish I could believe in you.” The genie snaps his fingers, and suddenly the atheist believes in him. The atheist says, “Wow. I wish all atheists would believe this.” The genie snaps his fingers again, and suddenly atheists all over the world begin to believe in genies. “What about your third wish?” asks the genie. “Well,” says the atheist, “I wish for a billion dollars.” The genie snaps his fingers for a third time, but nothing happens. “What’s wrong?” asks the atheist. The genie shrugs and says, “Just because you believe in me, doesn’t necessarily mean that I really exist.”

Source

[diotima64]

An atheist buys an ancient lamp at an auction, takes it home, and begins to polish it. Suddenly, a genie appears, and says, “I’ll grant you three wishes, Master.” The atheist says, “I wish I could believe in you.” The genie snaps his fingers, and suddenly the atheist believes in him. The atheist says, “Wow. I wish all atheists would believe this.” The genie snaps his fingers again, and suddenly atheists all over the world begin to believe in genies. “What about your third wish?” asks the genie. “Well,” says the atheist, “I wish for a billion dollars.” The genie snaps his fingers for a third time, but nothing happens. “What’s wrong?” asks the atheist. The genie shrugs and says, “Just because you believe in me, doesn’t necessarily mean that I really exist.”

Source

You DO see the logical error in that joke, do you? Oh - you don´t?

[Chiclets]

Wedding ruined

Spoiler! :