Lesson 14: Statues

[farside]

Lesson 14: Teaching Islam to Children
Teacher speaking:
Today children, we study statues in Islam. But first let’s recite forty times verse No. 5250 from Sahih Muslim.

Children reciting in unison:
Sahih Muslim Book 024, Number 5250: Abu Talha reported: I heard Allah's Messenger as saying: Angels do not enter the house in which there is a dog or a statue.

Teacher speaking:
Children, the picture on the wall is part of a frieze located on the United States Supreme Court building. A frieze is an architectural ornament consisting of a horizontal sculptured band of images. Our Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) is on the right. Charlemagne, the person on the left, was King of the Franks and Roman Emperor. Children, you have one hour to take the essay exam. Read each question carefully. May Allah grant you wisdom.

Essay Exam

Charlemagne had twenty children over the course of his life with his ten wives/concubines source, while with thirteen wives/concubines Muhammad had six children with only two of them living to adulthood. source Even though Muhammad, the final prophet of Allah, had three more wives/concubines ; why did Allah bless the Christian warrior King Charlemagne with 14 more children?

Muhammad is carrying a sword in his right hand and the Quran in his left hand. Identify which sword it is from the list found at swords

For proper bathroom etiquette, one should always use the left hand in cleaning oneself. Write a 250 word essay on why you should never carry the Quran in your left hand.

In order to prevent idol worship of statues, they must be destroyed source. Explain the technique that you will use to whacked off the nose of Muhammad on the Supreme Court Frieze. This action will prevent any visiting Muslim from prostrating himself before the frieze of Muhammad.

Charlemagne's grandfather was Charles Martel, the warrior who crushed the invading Muslim army at the Battle of Tours in 732 CE and stopped the spread of Islam into Europe. Why did Allah permit Charles Martel to win the battle?

P.S. For new members of FFI who are not familiar with my lessons, you can find them here
http://www.wikiislam.com/wiki/Farsideology

Kind Regards,
Farside

[farside]

Muhammad’s Top Dislikes source

Sunan Abu-Dawud, Book 34: 34, Number 4210: Narrated Abdullah ibn Mas'ud: The Prophet of Allah (pbuh) disliked ten things:

Yellow colouring, meaning khaluq,

dyeing grey hair,

trailing the lower garment,
wearing a gold signet-ring,

a woman decking herself before people who are not within the prohibited degrees,

throwing dice,

using spells except with the Mu'awwidhatan,

wearing amulets,

withdrawing the penis before the semen is discharged, in the case of a woman who is wife or not a wife,
and having intercourse with a woman who is suckling a child; but he did not declare them to be prohibited.

Farside’s Commentary: At the time Muhammad told Abdullah ibn Mas'ud his 10 dislikes fourteen hundred years ago, Muhammad knew in his heart and soul that his 10 dislikes would appear in the FFI forum and in the Farsideology section of Wikiislam.org. Now that’s amazing!

P. S. I could have used sexually explicit smilies for dislikes 9 & 10, but that is not the way of Prophet Farside.

Kind Regards,
Farside

[ixolite]

Brilliant, as always.

[farside]

Lesson 15: Teaching Islam to Children

Teacher speaking: Today class, we will take an essay exam on Quran 51:56 . But first, let us recite the verse fifty times.

Children reciting in unison: I created the jinn and humankind only that they might worship Me.

Teacher speaking: Children, you have one hour to take the essay exam. You may use the chart of the biological classification of humans found on your exam. Read each question carefully. May Allah grant you wisdom.

Biological Classification of Humans
Kingdom: Animalia
Phylum: Chordata
Class: Mammalia
Order: Primates
Family: Hominidae
Tribe: Hominini
Genus: Homo

Essay Exam
Why does Allah, the creator of our majestic universe, need animals (humans ) to worship Him? List ten reasons, and justify each reason.

Both humans and baboons belong to the order of primates. Describe the differences in salaat between the two primates.

Why does Allah, an entity of infinite intellect, need the Jinn to worship him; and how do the Jinn worship Allah?

If the animals (humans) or Jinn do not worship Allah, why does Allah upon their death torment them for eternity in his dungeon called Hell?

According to the verse below there is a Jinn attached to you right now.
If needed, you may ask your Jinn for help in answering questions 3 and 4.

Allah's Apostle said: There is none amongst you with whom is not an attached from amongst the Jinn. They said: Allah's Apostle with you too? Thereupon he said: Yes, but Allah helps me against him and so I am safe from his hand and he does not command me but for good. -- Sahih Muslim 6757

Homework

In the movie "Star Trek 5: The Final Frontier," the god of Sha Ka Ree needs a starship . The Arabian god Allah needs humans and Jinn. The Greek god Zeus needs lightning bolts. The Jewish god Yahweh needs the first commandment. Write a five thousand word essay explaining why omnipotent gods have needs.

Kind Regards,
Farside

[Med]

After all these years still going strong.

[farside]

Med, I wrote my first post in the FFI forum in 2002. That's a long time ago! All my golden oldies can be found in the farsideology section of wikiislam.net. Wikiislam.net offers a stable platform for my smilies -- the links don't break.

P. S. The administrators of wikiislam upload the smilies to their website.

Kind Regards
Farside

[Med]

Thanks! I've been in Farsideology and had a good laugh while learning a couple things too.
I'm also one of the oldies in the place. I started in islam.com in Nov. 2001 and then here also in 2002.
I recommend Johnny Reb's Freethought Page (just write it like this in Google bar). Maybe you already know it? I think it was Jaska who recommended it to me. JR reminds me of you.
Cheers and best regards!
Med

[Firesnake1]

Cannot post for few character?

Very very very entertaining as always Farsideology!